


My Dearest Hearts

by AceLucky



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Adult Content, Adultery, Bathtubs, Blood, Brothers, Conflict, Dwarf Courting, Dwarf Culture & Customs, Dwarves, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Emotionally Repressed, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Massage, Pregnancy, Pregnancy injuries, Pregnant Sex, Resentment, Romance, Serious Injuries, Sex, Unplanned Pregnancy, forbidden fantasies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-08 07:11:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5488328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceLucky/pseuds/AceLucky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader/Fili fic set in an a/u where Thorin, Fili and Kili survive the BotFA. The company meets the reader during their quest and she helps them for a time before having to return to her own people. Secretly the reader and Fili have been sleeping together and only Kili is privy to this. Once at home the reader discovers they are pregnant and after the battle is won and the mountain reclaimed, the company reunite to visit old friends, including the reader. In their reunion her secret is revealed, there is much laughter and joy, only one dwarf is not so happy with the news...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not entirely sure which direction I'm going with this so warnings may apply in the future and I'll change that then. I don't want Thorin to come off as completely awful, because he's not and therefore I worry a little about the direction this is going in. There's two ways I could take it and one way is quite lovely, the other is darker and doesn't paint the reader or Thorin in the best of light. Anyway let me know what you think! Thank you. Also this hasn't been beta read so any suggestions most welcome. More tags will be added as I add chapters, for now I have kept it basic but when the smutty chapters appear I will add the appropriate tags, there may also be death/violence later but I'm really not sure so watch out for updated tags. Lastly I do want to do another female dwarf/one of the company stories, but when doing a reader fic I find it easier to do it as human, but maybe in the future I'll do one where the reader is a dwarf?

You looked at your reflection in the dirty mirror, so much had changed, you had changed, in appearance and in mind. It had only been seven months, but that was more than enough time for the tables to turn. Wearing a loose fitting green and gold dress, your hair tumbled down over your shoulders. You had to laugh as you recalled something your grandmother always said, “you scrub up nicely,” you could hear her saying, that wryly smile of hers, those words could have caused offence but with you never. You knew she said it in a loving way, that it was born of adoration for you, your hunting and the fights you got in, your grandmother had been a tough old battle axe.

You sighed as you ran your fingers through your hair and then traced the wrinkles on your face with your forefinger. You were still young, but those lines and the scars you had were tales you had for the future to tell over campfires. 

There was a wish deep in your heart that your grandmother was here now. That any of your family were here, you had loyal friends and comrades that were like family, but you felt you could really do with some older wisdom that came from your own bloodline. 

“Y/N they are waiting,” your best friend appeared at the door, a soft smile on their face. They knew how nervous you were about this, it was understandable. Neither you, your friend or anyone who knew of your predicament had any idea how the others would react, especially him… Seven months, that was all it had been since you last saw Thorin and his company, and you had a lot to confess. Your heart soared knowing they were here, you felt safer with them around and more complete. Some of them made you laugh outrageously, others just made you feel safe and then there was the other. You’d questioned whether your actions were stupid and naïve every day since you’d returned home, you were sure that what you’d done was not the best move for relations with other nations. It was too late now, it was done and as certain as the setting sun whom the child you carried belonged to. 

It is time, Y/n,” your friend spoke with a hint of mischief in their voice and you couldn’t help but smile as you rubbed your belly. “I’m terrified,” you confessed. Battles you could cope with, but this was something else.

“You look beautiful,” your friend reassured you as they walked into your room, hiding something behind their back.

“Thanks,” you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, you felt anything but beautiful being heavily pregnant now. “What you got there?”

Your friend pulled a bottle from behind her back, “Y/F/N!” You laughed.

“A little courage?” They said as they raised their eyebrows.

“I need it,” you reached out for the bottle and opened the cap. You knew that you shouldn’t be drinking, but doctors said one drink was okay and surely a few drops would be alright. It was against your instinct, but you fought that, the allure of rum was too overpowering.

You unscrewed the cap and went to drink, “A glass or something?” your friend asked.

You shook your head, “I only want a swig.” You placed the rim to your lips and drunk, the cool liquid burnt your throat and made you shudder, still it was the clearest of mind you’d felt in days. After a second swig you wiped your lips on your sleeve. 

“Really y/n, you don’t want a tissue?” Your friend laughed.

You gave a shrug, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” You’d always been like this, always a little reckless, forsaking airs and graces, forgetting protocol. You figured this was why the dwarves had taken to you, even Thorin, your loyalty and love of food, drink and friendship. Parting had been horrific especially from Fili, knowing what the two of you had been doing in the shadows and late at night for the weeks running up to your departure. You’d wanted to stay with them but your own people needed you and so you’d arranged to see them once Erebor was reclaimed. Of course you didn’t know you were pregnant at that point and now you felt sick. 

“Come on let’s get this over and done with,” you said with a sigh. Fili had written to you after the battle, once calm had restored itself. When you received the letter you wept tears of joy, you’d felt guilty the whole time believing you should have been there with them and terrified of what might happen to your friends and lover. Fili informed you that the company of Thorin Oakenshield were reuniting to visit old friends and thank them for their help on their quest and you were very much on the list. He couldn’t wait to see you, that much came across in his letter and had been the hope you’d clung to through a rough pregnancy. 

You left your room slowly and walked out to the top of the stairs, the dwarves had not yet noticed you. You rested your hand on the bannister as you looked out at your friends. Your eyes drawn immediately to Fili, your heart leapt and you instinctively placed a hand on your swollen belly and rubbed. Fili and Kili were whispering and then laughing, their hands on one another’s shoulders, you couldn’t help but smile. Oin had his ear trumpet in, clearly trying to hear what all the laughter was about, but shrugged at Gloin. Thorin was staring up at the large portraits on the wall and Bilbo followed his gaze.

You slowly started to descend the stairs; Kili turned first, his face aglow when he saw you, then a wide smile appearing as he saw your stomach. Oin, Gloin, Bofur, Bifur, Bombur, Bilbo, Thorin, Ori, Nori and Dori all turned, exchanging happy glances as they saw you still stood near the top of the stairs. Even Thorin was smiling, but then Thorin didn’t know, none of them knew, except Kili of course. 

You wondered why Fili hadn’t turned yet, panicked that you’d made a mistake. However looking across at the brothers you saw Kili’s arm round his brother, whispering again and slowly Fili turned. 

When Fili turned to look at you, his eyes seemed to glaze over, though not in fear. He stepped away from the group towards you and slowly a smile begun to form. He appeared lost for words, and who could blame him? You gulped, Thorin would know, he’d guess the moment he saw the two of you reunited, especially with how Fili was acting but suddenly you didn’t care, you wanted the secret to be out in the open and so you continued to walk down the stairs.

Fili was now at the bottom of the stairs, smiling fondly at you, his arms outstretched. In your peripheral vision you saw Thorin give a curious and concerned glance at Kili and the others too seemed confused. They knew you were close to the brothers, but for Fili to come forward like that must have meant something.

You smiled and you felt the familiar sting of tears forming in your eyes as your cheeks burnt red. You walked straight into his arms without a word, inhaling the scent of his hair, his furs, everything about Fili smelt of home and the earth. You nuzzled into him and wrapped your arms round him as he held you tight, “My love,” he whispered into your ear.  
You pulled away to look at him, “Fili, I’ve missed you,” you kissed his cheek, too afraid to kiss his lips in front of the others.

“Me too,” he nuzzled into your neck then looked down at your bump, “And this, is it?” He looked up at you. Of course you guessed he didn’t mean to sound accusing or suggest you’d been sleeping with others but it must have been a shock for him.

You nodded, “I’m carrying your son or daughter,” you paused to gauge his reaction. You didn’t think you’d ever seen anyone smile brighter than Fili in that moment, like a child during the festive season, “Our son or daughter,” you added. 

He took your hands in his own and squeezed them tightly. He turned round to Kili and waved him over, though the two of you walked towards the group, Fili’s arm protectively round your waist. You hugged Kili almost as tightly as you hugged Fili.

“I missed you,” he confessed with a sad smile.

“But you’re here now,” you kissed his brow and then turned to the others, “My friends,” you began as you looked out at the others and opened your arms wide, “How I’ve missed you, welcome to my home. What is mine is yours.”

There was much cheering and whopping as the others all came over to greet you. You wanted nothing more than to be alone with Fili and Kili, but were grateful for the love they displayed that you had to take your time to connect with each one again and show your appreciation. 

Bofur planted a large kiss on your cheek, “I’ll have to sing for the lil’un,” he said with a wink.

Balin was over joyed and asked if he could touch your stomach to wish you nodded, you’d always hated people doing that unless they were those closest to you and asked, Balin was always polite and considerate. 

Thorin hugged you last; there wasn’t hate in his eyes, just trepidation, a wariness of you that had not existed before. “Thorin?” You questioned, “Everything okay?” He looked at you and gave a weak smile, he looked like he wanted to say something but you noticed Dwalin’s warning glance in his direction and shake of his head.  
“So you and Fili eh?” Bofur said with a cheeky grin as he nudged Bifur in the side. 

You had to roll your eyes, but couldn’t hide the smile that crept onto your face as the others laughed, “Yes, yes, look we have a lot to catch up on, but first let us get you settled.” 

You took a step back, “You are more than welcome to stay as long as you need, we will have a party tonight with much food and drink. I’ll have beds made up for you all.” 

You looked at Thorin, “Your majesty I am overjoyed to hear of your triumph and reclaiming Erebor, nothing has made me happier.” You felt Fili’s hand on your shoulder then, almost guiding you, “I was going to visit in the coming weeks but you appear to have beaten me to it.” This was somewhat of a lie, you’d planned on giving birth first and then seeing them so you could tell Fili in time and away from the others so you could figure out what was best to do. 

Thorin just nodded at you, his fists appeared balled but Dwalin and Balin stood slightly in front of him, blocking him. He appeared more in shock than anything, his mind trying to process what was happening and playing out in front of him. 

“Y/N,” Kili said from behind you as he placed a hand on your other shoulder. You turned and hugged him tightly before pressing a deep kiss to his cheek. 

“Hello Kili,” you leaned in to his ear and whispered what he already knew, but you’d been longing to say it for so long, “You’re going to be an Uncle.” 

Kili couldn’t hide his excitement and threw his arms round his brother; just seeing them together like that and so blessedly excited made you relax. You pulled both of them to you and looked at one then the other. 

“My dearest hearts,” you kissed them both on the forehead and then on the lips, letting the kiss linger a little longer than perhaps you should have, especially for Kili. “I love you both and am so glad you are here.”

They both hugged you, pulling you in close to them. It was clear your child would be the luckiest in the world with these two watching over it.  
“Enough!” A voice boomed across the room. “What is the meaning of this?”

You turned to see Thorin red faced, staring accusingly at you.

“Thorin,” Bilbo tried to interject, taking a soft but commanding tone as he often did with Thorin. “That’s no way to speak to our friend, especially in her condition,” Bilbo motioned to your stomach.

“Her condition,” Thorin said, his voice sounded poisoned as he positively seethed.

“Uncle please,” Fili said as he stepped forward in front of you, protecting you.

It seemed strange, no one knew about the two of you sleeping together aside from Kili and yet no one else seemed at all phased by this development. It seemed almost natural to them; they seemed overjoyed, all apart from Thorin.

You stepped back a little as tears of a different kind sprung into your eyes, Kili placed his arm round you and pulled you close, “It’ll be okay, Thorin can just be a little…” his voice trailed off but you knew what he meant.

“Fili I will repeat my question, what is the meaning of this?”

“Isn’t it obvious Uncle?”

Thorin threw his arms down in a fit of rage and let out a cry, “You are my heir, you will be King and you see it fit to frolic with a human and have a bastard child.”

“Uncle!” Fili shouted, his voice rose this time and there was a deep anger clearly surging through his veins. 

“There’s no need for that,” Dwalin said as he too stepped forward and came between the three of you and Thorin.

“Enough,” Thorin said under his breath, “I will not hear any more of this.”

Thorin turned on his heels and stormed out of the room, punching a wall as he went. 

“Fili I’m sorry,” you said as you walked up to him and placed your hand on his arm.

He turned to face you, “No, no.” he pulled you in close to him, “I was scared he’d react like this when he found out about us, but listen it doesn’t change how I feel or how excited I am about this.” He placed his hand on your belly and went down onto his knees before kissing it. 

Dwalin walked up to you and placed his hand on the back of your neck, stroking the skin there, “Don’t worry love, I’ll talk to him.”  
You nodded, “Thank you.”

You weren’t sure if Dwalin could convince him, but if anyone could it was him…unless.  
“Dwalin wait,” you called after him. Fili stood up and looked quizzically at you.

“Let me speak to him first.”

The others all looked at you in shock and you couldn’t blame them, it sounded crazy but you just knew you had to try.

“I can’t explain why, I just want to try.” You heart was pounding in your chest, you knew Thorin could be stubborn and only wanted what was best for his nephew, but you were sure he could be won round in time.

Dwalin clearly wasn’t happy with your plan, “Y/N, you don’t have to do this,” he looked at you with such sad eyes that it hurt. 

“I’ll be fine, trust me,” you gave a sigh as you turned to Fili, Kili and then glanced at the others, “let me try and then please will you talk to him?”

Dwalin nodded respecting your decision but Fili did not seem convinced, “Won’t you let me speak with my Uncle first?” He held onto you tightly, “I’ve just been reunited with you; I don’t want you to get hurt, especially with the baby.”

“I’ll be fine, I promise. This is Thorin we’re talking about,” you paused to smile at the two brothers, “Your Uncle is just concerned, a lot has happened in the past 24 months. He’s just in shock, he’s not cruel.” 

You knew Thorin, you knew him better than the others thought you did. He was good and kind and you knew that you could make this work, knew that he would come to his senses and you could make things right.

“Before you go there’s something I need to do,” Fili said as he pulled you into his arms, “What is it dear heart?”

Fili pulled you in to meet his lips and kissed you deeply, much to the amusement of the others. You could feel Kili stood right next to you, reveling in his brother’s pleasure.  
When you pulled away Fili cupped your chin, “I love you y/n. We’ll be right here.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader continues their search of their home to try and find Thorin and reason with him but to no avail. Exasperated they are reassured by Dwalin, Fili and Kili. They experience a first with the unborn that brings a smile to the brothers faces. Fili and the reader get close, much to the embarrassment and slight enjoyment of Kili who endures some teasing. Fili and the Reader enjoy further, more private moments together but agree it is best if they sleep in separate rooms. Later in the night after a series of nightmares the reader has another visitor to their room who has some confessions to make, but finds it hard to say the words...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be smut!  
> Urgh apologies I suck at summaries! I really didn't want to give certain things away! I hope everyone has had a Merry Christmas and that you all have a Happy New Year, thanks for the kudos!  
> I now totally know where this story is going and I'm so in love with it and so excited to write and get up further chapters. There's going to be some borderline Thorin/reader and Kili/reader stuff, but I want to make it pretty clear that Fili and the reader will remain faithful and I don't want any characters to do anything awful to each other.  
> Thanks again and please let me know what you think as this hasn't had a beta!

You walked along the corridors that you knew so well and were sure you’d searched everywhere but were still unable to find Thorin. After half hour you became overwhelmed with exhaustion, your stomach felt larger than ever and your back was aching, legs shaking. It didn’t take much to figure out that the others would be worried about you by now.

“Oh Thorin,” you found yourself saying under your breath as you wrapped your shawl round your body to keep yourself warm. You sighed and looked round the room you were in once more, you were sure you could feel something there, nearly hear a breath in the room but no one answered your calls.

You looked down at your stomach, “I’m sorry little one. I promise all this will be over by the time you arrive.”

You retreated up to the sleeping quarters where you’d instructed your maids to take the rest of the company and rest and make themselves at home. As you entered you had to chuckle, they’d certainly already made themselves at home. Chatting and laughing loudly, belongings spread out all over the place, a small fire burning on the balcony. You stood at the door with your hands on your hips and shook your head. 

Dwalin was the first to spot you and walked over with a concerned look on his face, “Ahhh apologies about the mess,” he gestured to the room.

You shook your head, “Not at all, this is your home for now.”

“And Thorin?” Dwalin asked hopefully. 

You shook your head and he placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder, “I’ll find him lass, don’ yer worry.”

You gave a sad smile; this wasn’t how you’d planned on things working out but figured there was nothing you could do about it now. You watched as Dwalin left the room and secretly prayed that he would find Thorin and that all would be well. 

You noticed Fili and Kili turn from the fire and Fili immediately rushed to your side, a concerned look on his gentle face, “So?” 

You shrugged, “I couldn’t find him.”

Fili wrapped his arms tightly round you and pulled you into him, “Don’t fret my love, we’ll figure it out.” You closed your eyes, rested your head on his chest and focused on your breathing, you knew for the baby and your own health you had to stay calm. Fili helped more than you could put into words and when you opened your eyes you saw Kili standing close by too. His arm slid round your side and he rested his head on your shoulder.

“We’re here for you,” Kili said quietly.

Fili looked up and met his brother’s gaze and smiled appreciatively, “Exactly, Kili and I won’t ever abandon you.” You stepped back as Fili took your hands in his and pulled them up to his lips to kiss your knuckles gently. 

You felt something then, a sharp ache in your stomach and looked down. Sensing your concern, Fili placed his hand on your stomach, “What’s wrong?” When your eyes met his you couldn’t help but noticed how weathered your loved one appeared with all the worry and strain of your pregnancy and being Thorin’s heir. You reached out to stroke his cheeks and beard softly, your thoughts momentarily distracted from the strange sensation in your stomach, “You seem tired.”

He kissed your cheek, “I’ll be fine, but what about you?”

His hand was still on your belly, the concern never left his face and Kili’s eyebrows were knitted in confusion and worry. It took a little while for it to dawn on you, but when it did you couldn’t hide the excitement from your face, “Oh my God,” you spoke quickly as a smile crept onto your face.

The brothers exchanged looks, “What is it?” They both spoke in unison.

“It’s the baby, it’s kicking,” you said with glee as you looked at them both.

A moment later and they were both knelt by your side, their ears pressed to your stomach, their hands trying to find the babies foot that was kicking. You felt it again and Fili’s hand immediately went to the spot on your stomach that your child was pushing against. 

Normally the idea of anyone touching your stomach creeped you out, but with these two nothing felt more natural. You placed your hands in Kili and Fili’s hair and stroked them both, “I love all of you so much,” you said quietly so that only they and your unborn child could hear.

It was later on in the evening and Dwalin had still not returned, however you saw this as a good thing, it no doubt meant he had found Thorin and was talking with him. Your guesses were confirmed when one of the servants informed you they had served Dwalin and Thorin their food separately which left the rest of you to eat, drink and be merry.  
After food you left the hall for a moments peace in the cool air, it didn’t take much for you to get hot and flushed and you weren’t sure you could handle much more laughter due to the antics of the dwarves. Fili and Kili insisted on sitting either side of you and it became apparent you couldn’t even go to the toilet to relieve yourself without one of them following you and wanting to stand guard. It wasn’t that you didn’t appreciate it, but you needed a moment to yourself to take a breather before you felt smothered.

The peace didn’t last long as Fili appeared a few minutes after you’d left the table, “Y/N are you okay?”

You gave an exasperated sigh and snapped, “Yes Fili I’m fine,” you couldn’t bring yourself to face him. After 7 months of being without him you’d missed him terribly and worried every waking moment for his safety and the others. Now you were reunited you wanted nothing more than to disappear with him and reconnect. However all the attention from him, his brother and the others was driving you a little stir crazy where you weren’t used to it, combined with the headaches and fatigue you were terrified you’d push them away.

You felt Fili retreat a little behind you, “I’m sorry,” your voice softened as you leant to one side and slowly turned round to face him. “I’m just tired Fi, I’m not used to all the attention and then there’s Thorin and everything aches,” you were unable to finish as Fili closed in and pressed his lips to yours, “Shh love I’m sorry.”  
You leant into his kiss, “What’s say you and I find a quiet room?” He asked as he pulled away.

You shook your head, “I don’t think that’s a good idea do you?” You replied sternly.

“But we haven’t lain together in months!” Fili protested as he pushed you up against the cold wall.

“I know,” your heart ached but you knew it was no good, Thorin was pissed and the last thing you needed was him and the others picturing you and Fili in coatis that night.  
Fili gave a sad smile, “He’ll come round.”

You nodded, “I know that,” you gave another sigh, it was useless fighting when those lips of his were on offer, “Oh Fili,” you kissed his lips again.  
“Ahem,” Kili roughly cleared his throat.

You both chose to ignore him for a moment, Fili’s hands grabbing roughly at your neck as you felt him grow harder and push against you.

“Y/N I need you,” Fili moaned into your neck and started to suck.

You were aware of Kili’s presence and opened your eyes to see him stare, open mouthed. He leant back against the wall too, turned to the side and continued to watch the two of you in your passion.

“Even like this?” You asked looking down at your swollen belly. 

Fili stroked your stomach, “Absolutely, there's more than one position," he said with a cheeky grin. This made you moan involuntarily and you felt your nipples harden.

“Fili I can’t,” you moaned as he closed the gap between you and you felt him again against your inner thigh. You could feel yourself getting wet and small groans begun to roll from your open mouth.

“Okay, okay, time out,” Kili said as he stepped between you.

You broke away from Fili with a giggle and glanced at Kili, then glanced at his crotch.

“You seem to have enjoyed that,” you commented.

He looked down to see his own cock hard in his breeches and flushed red.

“Careful now little brother,” Fili warned with a grin.

“Thorin’s asking for you,” Kili said as he turned and stormed off, clearly embarrased.

“That wasn’t awkward at all,” you laughed.

Fili kissed you once more, “Menu Tessu.”

You raised your eyebrows at him; he knew you spoke little to no Khuzdul, though you’d promised him you would learn in time.

Fili sensing your curiosity whispered in your eye, “You are everything,” and kissed your cheek. “Best go speak to my Uncle then,” he said with a heavy sigh.

You nodded, “I hope you can work things out.”

“I will, this I promise you.” He joined his thumbs and index fingers together to form a heart and blew a kiss at you before turning. 

You followed him back into the hall where Kili was sat apparently drowning his embarrassment in ale. “Kili will look after you,” Fili said with a playful nudge. You couldn’t help but grin back; it was going to be fun playing with him like this.

You walked over to Kili and slunk into the seat next to him, you could feel him move away slightly due to your presence. You placed a hand on his shoulder, “Come now Kili don’t be so shy. There’s no need to be embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed about what?” Bofur shouted across the table.

“Shit,” Kili muttered under his breath.

You leant in to whisper in his ear, “Don’t worry I won’t tell.”

“Nothing Bofur!” You said with a wink.

“Oh aye, why don’ I believe yer lass?” He said with a very similar wink. 

“It’s much more fun to play at guessing don’t you think?”

“What are we guessing?” Ori piped up as he leant across the table.

The rest of the evening continued much in the same vein; Fili returned from seeing Thorin and was accompanied by Dwalin. Thorin however decided to retreat to private chambers which you had provided for him. Dwalin and Fili didn’t say much to you about what had been discussed, just tried to reassure you everything would be okay and tomorrow was a new day. 

After you’d wished the others a good night you left for your chambers alone, no matter how much you wanted to spend the evening with Fili you didn’t think it was a good idea considering the circumstances. You and Fili had shared a long, last kiss outside the door of the room they were sleeping in, you made sure it was close to your chambers and that Fili knew where to find you if he needed to. You longed to welcome Fili into your bed, but remembered your grandmother’s words, ‘patience is a virtue’. With a heavy heart you head to bed. 

Just as you were drifting off you heard a knock at the door, so quiet you barely heard it, “Hello?” You replied, curious to see who was interrupting you this late at night.  
“Y/N? Can I come in?” It was Fili speaking through the door.

There was no denying the need for attention from your lover and you felt a smile creep onto your face. He made you feel like a naughty girl, sneaking around in the night.

“Come in,” you replied as you sat up in bed.

Fili walked into the room carrying a lantern with him, he placed it on the table by your bed, “Did I wake you?”

You shook your head, “No, it’s okay I was having trouble sleeping anyway,” you shifted across in the bed and lifted the sheets and blankets to allow Fili to jump in. 

He sat on the edge of the bed and undid the laces on his boots before slipping them off and climbing into bed with you. The moment you touched his skin you retreated with a yelp, “You’re freezing!”

Fili gave a low chuckle, “Well you can warm me up, something about doggy style I believe?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Away from Thorin and the others you didn’t feel so quick to deny your desire and so returned Fili’s proposition with a grin, “Well it might help me sleep.”

“Hmmm now that’s what I wanted to hear,” Fili groaned as he placed a hand at the nape of your neck and gently pulled you in to meet his lips. 

It felt so natural to be back in bed with Fili once again, the way he nibbled at your skin, a desperation in his moans. He sucked your lower lip and played with the front of your night dress, unlacing the front so he could slip a now warm hand inside and fondled your breasts. You gave a gasp as he tweaked one of your nipples.

“I missed sucking on these,” he teased as he pinched your nipple harder. He then sucked at your neck, flicking his tongue over the same spot over and over and then sucking harder, sinking his teeth in just a little. You knew the spot would bruise but you weren’t afraid of the looks you’d be given. 

Your hand wondered down to Fili’s light, night breeches, he was already rock hard and throbbing. You squeezed him through the material, eliciting a moan from his lips.  
“Fili, I need you, please,” you begged.

“What’s the hurry love?” Fili teased as he dipped his hands lower down to cup your womanhood.

“It’s been seven months, Gods I’m desperate,” you were on the verge of tears. Even though you’d only been kissing in bed for five minutes, it had felt like a lifetime and you were sure if Fili didn’t take you now you’d explode. 

“Patience, just as your lion commands you,” Fili purred in a low voice. 

Your lifted yourself off the bed and pushed him off you, “You might be a lion, but I’m your lioness,” you growled as you bent down to kiss his neck fiercely. 

Fili tried to pull you on top of him but to no avail, your stomach simply got in the way so you knelt up and pulled him to you. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and then removed your night dress over your head. You immediately folded your arms across your chest.

“Why so shy?” Fili asked softly as he brushed a strand of hair from out of your face.

You looked up, cheeks flushed, “It’s been a while and,” you stumbled trying to find the right words, “My body has changed.” You looked down at your stomach, at the stretch marks that now adorned it, your breasts felt swollen under your arms.

Fili gave a hearty chuckle, “And you are gorgeous as ever,” he moved his hands to your arms and gently lifted them away.

You closed your eyes as Fili looked over your body, “Mahal,” he breathed out slowly and when you opened your eyes there was nothing but adoration on his face.

He bent forwards to lick one of your nipples, then took it in his mouth and sucked gently, “You’ll have to learn to share soon,” you giggled as you stroked his long hair.

He looked up at you whilst continuing to suck, when he finally broke free he spoke, “I think I can cope with that. Now turn over.”

You rolled onto your front and up onto all fours, your arse sticking up into the air ready for him. He ran a hand over your skin, “so, smooth,” he murmured as he bent down to kiss your rear.

You felt him line up against you and then he reached down to between your legs and slipped two fingers through your folds, “And already so wet and eager,” he kissed your back this time. He gently rubbed you, tracing your skin and every time his fingertips smoothed over your nub you let out a whimper. Your legs were trembling underneath you and when he slipped his fingers inside you, your knees practically buckled.

Fili chuckled, “I’ve got you love, you’re so ready for me.” He slipped his fingers out of you and a moment later thrust deep inside making you cry out.

It felt as if no time had passed between the two of you last sleeping together; Fili was by far the largest man you’d been with, but also the most gentle of lovers when he needed to be. You knew it wouldn’t take either of you long to reach climax, especially with the way he gripped your hips and how you thrust back in perfect him to meet his.

He broke his hold on you as he dove in deeper, hitting your spot every time and making you cry out. One of his hands scratched down your back, the other moved to rub your clit and make sure you came soon. 

“Oh Y/N, mahal yes!” Fili cried out. 

“Fili please!” You shouted as your fists balled into the furs, tears were forming in your eyes due to the desperation in needing that sweet release.

When Fili came it was like the world stopped, everything changed just for you and him. You’d felt your own orgasm building and Fili knew just how to touch you in the moments leading to his own climax, intentionally making you come at the same time. Yes, Fili was always good at doing that. Your body shuddered with his, over and over, your knees so weak, head drooping, you gasped for air.

You felt Fili collapse on you before he’d even pulled out, he wrapped his arms round you and squeezed tightly, “Love you,” he whispered and kissed the small of your back as he pulled out with a grunt. 

After getting up to clean yourself in your washroom you returned to see a very smug Fili laid on top of the furs, arms behind his head, boots back on, whistling at you. 

“Boots on my bed,” you tutted as you walked across to him.

He pulled you down onto the bed to lay by his side, “I figured you wouldn’t want me sleeping here,” he said sadly.

“Not until everything is resolved, or at least for a few nights,” you replied as you stroked his cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“No, there’s nothing to be sorry for,” he kissed the end of your nose making you shudder in delight.

“That was incredible,” you confessed.

“Worth waiting for?”

“Oh gods yes.”

The two of you lay in silence for a while, your head now resting on Fili’s chest till he eventually broke away, “The others will wonder where I am if they wake up.”

You nodded and watched him get up from the bed, before slipping underneath the covers.

“Goodnight my love,” Fili said as he tucked you in making sure you were well and truly wrapped up and kissed your forehead before leaving. 

The nightmares came thick and fast when you were asleep and you woke drenched in sweat, how you wished Fili was there beside you to comfort you. Needing the cool night’s air you moved to the balcony and lay on the bench covered in furs you had placed there for this purpose. You loved to bask in the moonlight on nights like this, or at least have somewhere cool and peaceful to think. You hadn’t intended to fall asleep but sleep came easy to one as tired as you. 

When you woke you felt something behind you, someone stroking your belly and singing softly in Khazdul. You thought at first that it was Fili, maybe Kili or even Bofur, you were too sleepy to distinguish whose voice it was. After blinking a few times you were sure that it was in fact Thorin.  
“Thorin?” You whispered.

He grew stiff behind you, stopped singing and swiftly removed his hand from your belly, “Apologies,” he said and you felt his weight leave you.  
You rolled over to see Thorin stood next to you, looking out into the night, “I didn’t mean to wake you.” He apologised.

Instinct told you that you could trust him, that he meant nothing sordid by his night visit. Nether the less you sat up and drew your knees as close to your stomach as you could manage.

“What’s wrong?” You asked him quietly, afraid others would hear you.

“I came to apologise,” he paused as he turned to look at you, “I should have known you were sleeping and when I saw you were I should have left.”

You tilted your head to the side, “It’s okay, I wasn’t in a deep sleep anyway.”

Thorin gave a heavy sigh and shifted uncomfortably on his feet. His hands were together in front of him, he appeared to want to say something but silence fell between you.

“I came to apologise,” he repeated. “I was wrong to be so harsh towards you and Fili, it came as a shock, especially with Fili being my heir.” he paused, “There’s something else, but I don’t know how to say it, it’s just, there’s a lot to consider. That I had to consider, to come to terms with.” The way he spoke was so stern and matter of fact, yet he couldn’t have been less clear if he tried. It almost sounded like he was scolding himself and you felt awful for him. You knew what a great responsibility it was that he had and this couldn’t be easy for him. 

“You can’t be comfortable stood like that, come sit,” you moved across to let Thorin sit beside you in the bench.

Thorin moved slowly and sat down; he stared at the floor, “there is so much I need to say,” he looked at you properly for the first time. “Though I have not the words in man’s language,” he gave a sad smile. 

You shook your head, “I’m sorry too, I should have spoken to you first. Fili and I we should have told you a long time ago, but there was so much at stake back then, we didn’t wish to worry you,” you confessed. 

Thorin ran a hand through your hair and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. That was the Thorin you loved, the one that could be kind and gentle, the born leader with an understanding for mercy. 

“It wasn’t you I was angry at, or even Fili, it was just.” He paused as he let go of your hair, “It doesn’t matter.”

“You seem so sad,” you said softly as you cupped his chin, “You needn’t be afraid of being honest with me. I’m made of stronger stuff than you think,” you laughed.

This put a smile on his face, though he appeared not to want to reveal anymore and you weren’t going to pressure him. His smile widened when he stared at your stomach.  
“He or she was kicking today,” you grinned.

His eyes widened and he went to touch you, but stopped as if waiting for permission.

“Go on, it’s your great niece or nephew in there,” you smiled.

Thorin gently placed a hand on your stomach and sat still for a moment just enjoying his first contact with his unborn relative. You found yourself yawning, truth be told you still felt half asleep and this encounter felt more like a dream than anything.

“Sleep Y/N, I’m sorry to have woken you. But I am glad I have spoken with you,” Thorin said as he removed his hand. 

“It’s okay, I was only having nightmares anyway,” you sighed.

“Is that a frequent thing?” He asked.

You nodded, “nightly, yes. I wish Fili had stayed, but we didn’t think…” you realised what you’d said, that it would be obvious you’d slept together.

“It’s okay,” Thorin reassured you.

“Yes, all the time, the nightmares just come and there’s never anyone to ward them off.”  
“I can stay,” Thorin offered quietly.

You weren’t sure how you felt about that or how Fili would feel about it, though you were sure he meant nothing inappropriate, and after all Thorin was your King as far as you were concerned, and who could deny their King? You nodded, “I’ll sleep out here.”

You slunk down into the bed and stared out across the valley, Thorin laid down next to you, the feeling of him behind made you feel safe. He wrapped his arms round you and nuzzled into the back of your neck, “I’ll keep you safe,” he promised.

You weren’t sure what this was, what he was doing but you didn’t feel bad or guilty. Thorin had simply come to apologise and you’d both been so tired that you’d decided it was best you both sleep, it wasn’t as if you’d kissed or done anything. Having Thorin sing Misty Mountains in his low voice helped soothe you, your heart rate slowed down and as Thorin’s hand crept round to your stomach and rest there you gulped. You felt your baby kicking and wondered whether it wouldn’t have been such a bad thing had you allowed Fili to sleep with you that night after all.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader wakes up the morning after being comforted by Thorin and realises there are discussions that need to take place, no matter how awkward. Thorin finds it hard to truly confess what he is feeling and both Thorin and the reader struggle with their internal conflicts as the reader remains loyal to Fili but has thoughts she cannot control. The reader worries about the implications of being pregnant with an heir's child out of wedlock as well as it being half dwarf. She is reunited with Kili, Fili and the other dwarves over breakfast and Fili and her share a display of their love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know exactly where I want this to go now, yay! I haven't had this much fun writing something in ages so thanks to everyone who has left kudos and given me motivation to continue. Sorry the end of this chapter kind of sucks, I didn't want to carry it on too much longer but originally it ended a bit abruptly so I added an extra bit. Please let me know what you think, good or bad! Oh and I apologise I am making stuff up as I go along regarding dwarven customs/courting and pregnancy, drawing from canon and head-canon and seeing where it takes me.

You woke slowly, the blissful transcendence between sleep and full consciousness. You listened to the sound of the birds that you adored in the valley, the warmth that radiated round you made you snuggle deeper into the blankets, a smile on your face. You half opened your eyes to see the last of the moon before it faded from the morning, dawn was a perfect gift you had often mused. It was then that you because aware of something hard pressed against the tops of your thighs. Instinctively, without thought, you pushed back into it, a small moan escaping your lips, your mind picturing Fili only. 

The dwarf behind you did not react at first, though you were sure you just heard a moan slip from between their lips. It was then that you recalled the events of the night before, your eyes shot open and you stopped grinding your body. 

Thorin jumped out of bed in a flash and muttered something incomprehensible under his breath, possibly an apology. You heard his heavy footsteps as he left the balcony into your room, though you heard no door slam.

You couldn’t let him leave so abruptly, without discussing the night before, it would make things even more awkward and so you jumped up from the padded bench and wrapped one of the blankets round yourself to protect your scantily clad body. 

“Thorin,” you said softly as you walked in on him sat on the edge of your bed, facing away, head in his hands. 

He looked up and over his shoulder at you; the look he gave was that familiar stern glare that softened into an honest, albeit guilty smile, “Y/N I am sorry, I never should have come here last night.”

You shook your head against all better judgement, “It’s fine Thorin, honestly. I slept better knowing you were okay, that we are okay,” you hated the way you stressed the word we. What did we mean in this context?

Thorin’s mood had shifted from the day before, that much was certain, but you weren’t sure how. He was still as stern as ever, a figure who commanded authority, yet he seemed more nervous around you than angry, sorry almost and there was something in the way he looked at you.

You went to take one of his much larger hands in yours but he retreated from your touch, “Have I done something wrong?” You asked as you tied your hair up, anything to distract yourself, make it look like none of this bothered you. You didn’t want to show fear or weakness, you tried to hide both the guilt and sadness from your voice but knew in the look that Thorin gave you that you failed.

Thorin shook his head, “Not at all, no, things are,” he paused as his face softened and he gave a low chuckle. He reached out to take your hand in his and you let him, you watched both your hands disappear into his own. That was one thing with dwarves that you couldn’t get used to and didn’t want to…though shorter than you, their hands, everything about them seemed larger and stronger. He stood up and faced you, still cradling your hands.

“Please do not speak of this to my nephews,” Thorin begged as he lifted your hands to his face, he opened his own up to reveal yours underneath and kissed your fingertips. This tickled against his thick, moustache and under any other circumstances you’re sure you’d of laughed. 

“Fili would understand, he’d be glad,” you protested.

“That his Uncle shared a bed with his pregnant lover?” He scoffed as he let go of your hands and wrapped his arms round your waist in an attempt to pull you closer. This was somewhat difficult considering your size but where he had you, how quietly you were speaking, you’d both leaned in close.

Your lips were only inches from his and when you spoke you felt his breath hot, “You must understand how ungracious of me this it, how unlike me, unlike a King.” He paused as he took a breath, “I care about you, I care about my nephews, I care about this baby,” he spoke softly as he removed one of his hands from his waist and placed it on your stomach  
“I just wanted to make it right, to know that this was right.” He rubbed your stomach gently and you were sure you felt your baby kick again. 

He let go of your waist and removed his hand from your stomach before he stepped back. You felt the heat rush to your cheeks, unsure what to say until stuttering you managed, “Thorin we’d best go to Breakfast, they’ll be wondering where we are.”

Thorin nodded, “I’ll go.” 

“I’ll get dressed and see you down there,” you forced a smile, an uneasy feeling washing over you.

As Thorin turned away you swallowed hard, a lump forming in your throat. You’d been so happy twelve hours ago, even falling asleep in Thorin’s arms, but why? You loved Fili, and yes there was a little attraction to Kili too, but Fili knew that and mostly it was in jest, harmless fun, you’d never do anything. Nothing could tear you and Fili apart, but then how well did you know him? During your time on the road he told you tales of his childhood and a little about Dwarvin courting rituals, for example braiding of the hair, but promised to divulge the rest when you were reunited.

Thorin must have sensed how troubled you were as he turned round just as he was about the leave the room and walked back to you, “Y/N Look at me.”  
You looked up to meet his big, blue eyes that seemed so genuine just like when you first met him, it was the sort of expression he pulled at his nephews and at Bilbo. No malice or resentment, just a great honourable love. 

“Trust me when I say how surprised I was at my own actions, I only meant to reassure you, to comfort you. Fili is my heir and having a child, his heir, that is only half dwarf, you can see why that has shaken me.” He cupped your cheek.

You nodded weakly; this had crossed your mind many times. You did wonder whether you would remain as Fili’s mistress whilst he married a dwarven maid and then your child would be a bastard and his further children would take the place of heir. This made you sick, but it was a possibility, Fili and you hadn’t even spoken of marriage yet.

“I know Thorin, I’m sorry; I promise I’ll stay out of the way for the sake of protocol. If there’s any arranged marriages or.”

Thorin cut you off by kissing your cheek, “Y/N, none of that. I trust in Fili and know what a wonderful King he will make,” he smiled at you, “Besides my sister didn’t bring those two up to be breaking girls hearts and spilling their seed all over the place.” 

You shuddered at the way Thorin said that, he told jokes sometimes, you often saw him smile and yet he was always so much more formal than the other dwarves. Hearing him say the phrase, ‘spilling their seed’ didn’t feel right, you’d rather he’d just said fucking and be done with it. 

He stroked your cheek, “And you are strong, worthy of Durin’s sons.”

That made you smile; Thorin’s touch, lips and words were warm and made you believe that it would be okay. You were convinced, his visit last night was a genuine attempt to apologise and reassure you.

You felt tears in your eyes, “Damnit,” you swore as you rubbed the moisture away. “Bloody pregnancy, bloody hormones, can’t even hug properly I’m so huge, other girls are never this large at seven months.”

Thorin moved round the back of you and hugged you from behind, “There, there,” he comforted you; “Those other girls weren’t carrying the son or daughter of a dwarf.”

You were trembling now, this was the other thing that had bothered you about this pregnancy but you’d spoken to no one about it as there was no one to understand, not until now. You knew you needed to speak to Oin ideally, along with your own healers and midwife. dwarven babies were famously large compared to the babies of mankind, they were known, on occasion to be too much for the dwarven maids who conceived them. It was one of the reasons for the dwindling dwarf population, why there were less maids, some died in childbirth. True this happened in the world of man too, but dwarven pregnancies were known for being more fatal and dangerous than with other races such as men or elves. But those dwarves had much larger hips than a human’s. You gulped and continued to tremble as you pushed yourself back into Thorin.

“Shit Thorin, what if I can’t…” you started to speak, your voice quavering. Thorin wrapped his arms tighter round you, “You can, you’re strong, I’ve seen you fight remember,” he said reassuringly.

You tried to nod but found yourself unable. Thorin continued to hold you fast, you leant back so you could rest your head on his shoulder and you felt one of his hands run through your hair. “I will find you the very best in medicine, I will call upon the Lady Galadriel herself if I have to, do you understand?” He whispered in your ear, “Nothing is going to hurt you,” he kissed your earlobe softly. 

There was a feeling of warmth between your legs, it was too overwhelming, the sensations, the fear, you felt ready to throw up. 

“But that doesn’t matter, none of it will matter if I can’t,” you felt a wave of nausea crash over you as you pulled away from Thorin and ran to your water closet. Morning sickness had long since passed but this was a different sickness, a deep seated fear.

Thorin rushed over you and you tried to tell him to go away but found yourself unable as you threw up into the bowl. A moment later Thorin’s hands were on your back, rubbing gently and massaging your shoulders, “Shhh it’s okay,” he cooed.

A few minutes passed and finally you felt able to sit up. You could feel sweat on your brow and you let your head fall back to the wall and roll to the side, tears streamed down your face yet you found yourself laughing in spite of it all. “What a mess,” you muttered under your breath.

“Here,” Thorin handed you a goblet filled with water which you took gratefully. He then mopped your brow with a cool towel. “I will speak to Oin and Fili after breakfast, I promise you that it will be okay,” he tilted your chin so you were looking at him. You felt so small next to him, your head resting in his hands.  
You nodded weakly, “Thank you, now go, I’ll be down soon.”

Thorin bent down and kissed your brow, “Don’t be long, Fili will be missing you,” he said with a smile.

When the door closed behind Thorin you breathed a sigh of relief, regret…you weren’t sure what it was. Standing up your knees still felt weak and your hands still trembled. You stared at your reflection and felt broken, your eyes puffy, cheeks red. You had to sort out your makeup and hair before you entered the hall for breakfast. Normally you were happy to do it yourself but today you barely had the strength to lift a brush and so called your maids to help you get dressed and ready, feeling for the first time in a long time, both weak and a fool.

By the time you entered the hall the dwarves and your friends and soldiers who had joined them had nearly finished breakfast. That was saying something considering how long dwarves could eat for. 

Fili saw your first, as if he was looking up every few moments to see if you’d arrived. When he caught your eyes his whole face lit up, he leapt from the bench and ran over to you. His arms would have lifted you off the ground had you not been pregnant, you were sure of it.  
“Y/N my love, how did you sleep?” You glanced across at Thorin.

You turned back to Fili and nodded, “Well, as well as can be expected,” you forced a smile.

Fili placed his hands both sides of your cheeks, “You are the most precious thing to me you know that? I don’t care what anyone thinks,” he turned to glare at his Uncle for a second, “Tonight I am staying with you. Any trouble sleeping that you have, any nightmares, I will chase them all away.”  
“Fili,” you said softly, cupping his cheeks in the same fashion.

He moved round the back of you, hands slipping slowly round your waist. You craned your neck back to meet his lips and the two of you shared a deep, lust-fuelled kiss, much to the amusements of the other dwarves who whooped and wolf whistled.

“Oh shut up,” you said blushing as Fili pulled away. 

As you sat down next to Fili the company were all grinning at each other, little nudges and winks that did not go un-noticed by yourself.  
“Fili here was in an awful good mood this mornin’,” Bofur teased.

“Aye n’yer know wha’ tha’ means,” Dwalin joined in.

Ori seemed a little confused and you found yourself blushing, “Is it possible being so…large?” He asked inquisitively.

To this Kili, Bofur and the others burst into fits laughter leaving your cheeks burning beetroot red with embarrassment. You couldn’t help but look up at Thorin, he knew exactly how that was done. For a brief moment you pictured Thorin behind you, his arms covered in thick veins wrapped around your torso. Him pounding into you, kissing your neck and pulling your hair back as he massaged you swollen breasts.

“Y/N?” Fili had clearly noticed your day dream and when you blinked you were horrified to see you were still staring at Thorin, his eye line met yours.

“Sorry Fili I’m just a little tired,” you said as you rested your head on his shoulder.

“Oh come here love,” he said as he nuzzled into your hair and wrapped his arm around you pulling you close.

“Really you two? She hasn’t even eaten,” Kili teased as he swatted at his brother.

“You love it,” you teased in reply as you leant towards him, purposefully trying to expose more of your plentiful bosom.

Kili visibly gulped, “Mahal,” he muttered.

“What’s that brother?” Fili turned to him and Kili only shook his head, “Nothing brother.”

You were left with a smirk on your face, though none of the food seemed appetising to you and as Fili offered you everything from scrambled eggs to toast and bacon you waved your hand dismissively in front of it all.

“I don’t feel so good Fili,” you confessed, you knew you had to eat for the baby’s sake, but right now nothing could be further from your mind. 

“What is it?” Fili asked, his voice full of concern.

“I don’t know, I combination of a lack of sleep, back ache, worry…” your voice trailed off. “I think I can manage some fruit,” you gave him a weak smile.

Fili picked up an apple and a knife, and started to cut small pieces up, feeding them to you slowly. You smiled feeling content just watching how move love and care he put into a simple task.

There was a shadow cast over you just as you finished eating, you didn’t have to turn to know that it was Thorin who stood behind you both.

Under the table Kili placed his hand on your leg and gave a reassuring squeeze.

“Fili we need to talk,” Thorin spoke solemnly and then the shadow was gone.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whilst Fili is speaking to Thorin, the reader and Kili have a heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a few things... Sorry this has taken a while to post, I've re-written this chapter so many times and I'm still not sure I'm happy with it so any feedback would be wonderful! Other things to mention, I apologise if it's a bit all over the place, due to being ill I find it quite hard to string sentences together.
> 
> Big thank you to Elise for beta reading this for me too :)
> 
> Furthermore I have removed Bilbo from the story, he didn't have a big part in it and I felt I was giving random lines to random characters. He may be in the story later and will still be referenced (I love Bilbo!) but I didn't feel he needed to be here at this time. I will go into the previous chapters and remove reference to him in due course so not to confuse people.

Fili turned to look at you with anticipation, as if he were asking for your permission to go with his Uncle; you gave a slight nod, “Go.”

He smiled softly and leant in to kiss your cheek, “Please try and eat something more my future Queen,” he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and pushed rest of the cut up apple to you. 

Turning to Kili he said, “Look after her brother.”

Kili nodded and placed a hand protectively on your shoulder as you watched Fili follow Thorin out of the room. The trembling of your hands had gotten worse, partly from the sickness and partly because you were terrified of what Thorin was going to tell Fili. But then if Thorin had been so scared that you would say something, he wouldn’t portray you now.

Kili leaned into you, “Not that you need any looking after,” he gave a wink and rubbed your shoulder gently. That made you smile, aside from your family; you weren’t used to anyone considering you able to look after yourself. 

“Yer okay lass?” Dwalin’s voice boomed across the others.

You smiled in his direction, “Just a rough night and my stomach doesn’t seem to be up to this.”

“You must eat something more,” Dori piped in sounding concerned. “Or some chamomile tea?”

You sighed, knowing he was right, “Breakfast tea please.”

Kili was still rubbing your shoulder, subtly massaging the knots that had formed in between the joints. Oin got up from his seat and walked round to you, a bowl in his hand containing all manner of berries and a few nuts and what appeared to be some honey.

“Here, try this, it’ll be good for you and the baby,” he held it out to you.

“Thank you,” you couldn’t deny it looked good, and healthy. It was the first thing you’d seen at the table that didn’t immediately make you want to throw up. 

“Are you sure it’s just your stomach that’s bothering you?” Kili asked you quietly after you’d thanked Oin.

You turned to Kili, stared into his deep, brown eyes, such a contrast to his brothers, yet just as homely. Making sure no one else was watching you, you shook your head slightly, Kili gave a reassuring nod. “Do you want to talk after breakfast?” 

You placed the spoon loaded with berries to your lips, “Yes,” though you had no idea what to tell him, you could hardly mention Thorin.

You placed the rest of the apple in the bowl and had to admit, the mix tasted absolutely delicious, you didn’t think you’d tasted anything that good in a long time and within minutes your stomach was growling, seemingly begging you for more. You continued to wolf down the food, ignoring the glance the others were giving you, it appeared you were eating like a dwarf which made them chuckle heartily.

As you continued to eat you enjoyed listening to them recounting tales from the battle of five armies and whilst you knew they survived you still felt your heart race at crucial moments. The way Balin and Dwalin told the tales, constantly interrupting one another, finishing each other’s sentences, they were brothers all right.

“No, now we both know that’s not how it happened,” Balin said as he waved his arm dismissively in front of his brother.

“Now brother, you’ve been known to be quite the liar,” Dwalin retorted as he puffed out his chest.

“And you quite the lover of tall tales,” Balin swiped at Dwalin with a large, wooden spoon.

Nori cut across the brothers, “And what of Bofur!” He said excitedly.

“Aye how I rode tha’ terrible creature, lots a’fun I must say,” Bofur nodded in Nori’s direction.

Before you knew it Bofur was up on the table and had dragged Bombur with him, they planned to re-enact the part of the battle where he rode a troll. Only he was sat on his cousin’s shoulders, much to the merriment of the others. A moment later they crashed to the ground in a heap of laughter. 

“Ahem,” a shadow fell across you as you placed your plate down on the table. You knew without even looking who it was, Thomas, your father’s closest advisor.

You turned solemnly, “Tom, how are you?” You tried to remain polite but the older man was so full of bile it was hard not to turn your stomach.

“Worried,” he answered casting an unamused glare at the two on the floor.

“Really, well there’s something new,” you replied as you sipped the tea Kili had just poured for you.

“What do you think your father will think of,” he paused as he looked over the guests, “this. This home is not a playground or...”

You couldn’t stand to hear him speak like this any longer, “Tom, these are our guests and a great King is with them, father will be pleased to meet them,” you said defiantly. 

“So sure of yourself just like your mother,” you hated the smile he gave you and the way he gripped your shoulder.

You turned to face Kili who was glaring at this man he clearly considered an intruder into the happy breakfast you’d been sharing. 

“And your father will be happy to finally meet the dwarf that knocked you up; out of wedlock he must be so proud.” He smiled at Kili.

You could have sworn you heard Kili growling, ready to pounce. You shifted yourself away from Thomas so his hand dropped from your shoulder, “This is not Fili, this is his brother, Kili, and I assure you da and I have spoken at length and yes he is perfectly proud of me,” you stood up and put your hands on your hips. 

Thomas still towered above you but you didn’t care, “Don’t you have Council business to attend to?” You were aware of all eyes in the room that were now on you, the laughter had seized for the moment. 

His thin lips curled at the edges, “Very well I shall leave you all be. Just remember I am only looking out for you,” you hated the way he stressed the word only.

“I know,” you lied; too weary to continue this game you’d been playing for years. The way he looked at you, watched you, the jealousy that seethed.

“Good,” he smiled, his eyes no longer looking at your face but rather you breasts. 

You wished you had a shawl or cardigan to wrap round yourself and shuddered involuntarily knowing he was looking at you. You shouldn’t have to cover up but you knew since your breasts had swollen your dresses and tops were far tighter in that area. Your back started to ache but you refused to show it in front of him. 

Thomas turned on his heel and left the room, calling several of the maids with him and ordering the others to clean up the mess the dwarves had made.

“There’s no need for that,” Ori said cheerfully taking the plates out of one of the maid’s hands.

“Aye we shall help,” Gloin agreed as he patted his full to bursting stomach.

“Are you sure?” You arched your back and then placed a hand at the bottom of your spine, your other arm leaning on the table for support as you let out a groan. 

“Always a pleasure,” Bofur said as he appeared by your side, his cheerful disposition never faltering. 

“Bofur, you’re a dear friend, and I assure you everything is as it should be,” you said fondly.

You were more than grateful for their help, you knew that it couldn’t be easy for the household to accommodate for fourteen more and who knew how long they’d be staying.  
“Why don’t you all take the rest of the day off, the weather is gorgeous,” you offered the staff. Your father often announced extra days off, always paid and much to Thomas’ disapproval, that wasn’t how you ran a proper house hold, not this close to Gondor. Your father’s response was always the same, “Balls to it,” he’d chuckle.  
You began to help the others to clear up but Dori brought a chair and blanket over to where you stood and insisted you sat down. You were grateful, you couldn’t deny how much your back was hurting, your feet ached and how tired you were. Bofur brought over another cup of tea for you with just the right amount of milk and you rested back into the chair. 

When they’d finished they all stood in front of you as if waiting for orders, “What now?” Ori asked.

“Whatever you wish my friends, you are my guests,” you stood up from the chair. “Go relax, explore, take ponies if you like.” You paused, “I would join you.”

“Yer not comin’ with us?” Bofur looked deeply disappointed.

You knew there was no use fighting them on this, “I will join you,” you corrected, “but in a while, I’m still not feeling well and wish to wait for Fili and Thorin to return.”

“You sure you’ll be okay lass?” Dwalin asked stepping forward.

You nodded, “I’m pregnant not dying,” this didn’t appear to appease Dwalin as much as you thought it would.

“I’ll stay with you, wait for my brother,” Kili offered. This appeared to work and Dwalin was satisfied that you would be safe, in your own house, which in itself seemed ridiculous to you.

You watched the others leave for the stables; Bombur gave a humongous burp as they walked out of the halls. You heard several other large belches, clearly the others in competition and you shook your head. The world of men was not quite used to the way the dwarves lived or behaved. Finally the room fell silent aside from the crackle of the fire.

You gave a heavy sigh, it was nice to have a moment of peace, though Kili was stood by your side; you gave him a warm smile, “Come on then let’s go somewhere more comfortable.”

Kili looked immediately confused, “So we can talk,” you added. “Besides Fili will know where to find us.”

“So he was in your room last night?” Kili took your arm in his and gave a smirk.

“Do I really need to answer that?”

On entering your chambers you pulled the door shut, not wanting to be interrupted for anyone to hear what you were discussing, you didn’t care how it looked. 

“Are you alright?” Kili asked as he touched your arm gently when you turned back round from the door, “You seem a little jumpy, quieter than when we were on our quest.”  
“Pregnancy will do that to you,” you moved past him and pulled two chairs out in front of the fireplace. “Sit won’t you,” you said with a smile.

Kili walked over but did not sit, instead he stood behind you and placed his hands on your shoulders and started to massage you. His touch was light at first but the telling moan you gave was all the indication and encouragement he needed to knead deeper into you. Somewhere along the way you loosened your dress so you could pull the straps down over your shoulders. His hands moved to your hair, he twirled it round and placed it over your shoulder so he had better access to your neck and back.  
“Sorry Kili,” you whispered.

“Whatever for?”

“You don’t have to be so nice, I feel like I’m making you work!” You huffed as you folded your arms across your chest, somehow you couldn’t relax.  
Kili gave a chuckle, “I offered remember?”

You looked over your shoulder, careful to hold your dress close to you so that you didn’t expose your breasts.

“Talk to me,” Kili said softly. You noticed the quiver in his voice, the two of you had spent a lot of time together, sometimes with Fili, sometimes alone on watch. He’d often brush your hair, massage your aching muscles and soothe you when Fili was unable to do so. You realised when you were with Fili, Kili was a part of the package, though never in a sexual way. It was something else, something you found impossible to describe, you had implicit trust in him. 

“I don’t know where to begin,” you stared into the fireplace and listened to the crackle of the embers. It was so peaceful it could have lured you to sleep, Kili must have noticed this, “It’s okay if you want to sleep, I’ll watch over you, make sure that creep doesn’t come in here.”

You shook your head, “No, but thank you. I just, I don’t know where to start,” that much was true.

“At the beginning,” Kili whispered into your ear.

You reached out to Kili and placed a hand on his chest; he brought one of his hands down to meet yours and linked his fingers in your own.

“I’m so happy you’re all here and to see Fili again, nothing has made me happier. Though I know you must soon leave, I hope I can come to Erebor.”

“Of course, any time,” Kili said as he continued to massage the top of your back where your dress had slipped lower.

The touch of Kili’s hands on yours was warm and you felt sure you could tell him everything. There was still a deep seated hesitation within you, coming back to the core of the problem, you’d promised Thorin you wouldn’t tell Fili or Kili what happened.

“Your secrets are safe with me,” Kili reassured you. 

“Who said I had secrets?”

Kili blinked and looked confused for a moment, he removed his hands from your shoulders, “No one, I just mean, I won’t tell anyone, whatever you tell me.” 

“I’m overjoyed that you’re all here and to be with Fili again, to hold him in my arms and for him to know about this,” you reached down to stroke your belly, “And that he’s not angry, Kili I couldn’t be happier.” Kili placed his hands on your once again, his knuckles kneading deeper down either side of your spine. 

You closed your eyes for a moment enjoying the ambedo that Kili’s hands were luring you into combined with the sound of the fire. His thumbs pushed gently around your neck and shoulders.

You gave a louder moan, “You like that?” Kili teased.

“Hmm gods yes,” you rolled your head, “deeper, harder,” you pleaded.

Kili coughed behind you and gave a chuckle, “Is that what you say to my brother?”

Oh god you hadn’t thought of it like that, you realised how dirty that last sentence must have sounded and blushed. For once you wish you were capable of acting like a proper lady, with decorum that you seemingly lacked. 

“Kili you know I don’t mean…”

“Shhh I know,” he laughed continuing to get rid of any remaining knots; you could have sworn you heard all sorts of bones click and crunches from beneath your skin. It stung a little but the relief was sensational, “Someone’s gonna be a very lucky lady one day,” you said.   
Kili took his hands from you and gently lifted the straps over your shoulders once more. He sat down in front of the fireplace and took your hands in his, “So you couldn’t be happier, I sense there’s a but?”  
“It’s Thorin,” you said and once you started you knew you wouldn’t be able to stop.  
“You know what my Uncle’s like, he’ll come round, he…”

You cut Kili off, shaking your head, your lips aquiver, “No Kili, it’s not that. Thorin seems different, he seems changed and I fear, I fear for him, for my love and for you. My dearest hearts that I would be so lost without,” you smiled sadly as you squeezed Kili’s hands. 

“Dragon sickness, Kili tell me dragon sickness isn’t real?” You looked questioningly up into his eyes, searching for any hint of truth or lie.

Kili appeared lost for words, “I don’t know about that, I…Thorin was changed, yes, before the battle he was changed he succumbed to it, the gold, it changed him. But I watched him change back. Fili and I we convinced him to do the right thing, the old Thorin returned,” you saw his eyes light up.

You nodded, “Yes, I believe that.”

“Then what is bothering you my lady?”

“He seems different to me, not just because he’s a King.

Kili raised an eyebrow, “How so?”

You pulled your hands away from Kili, needing a moment without his touch to cloud your judgement. “Your Uncle is a good dwarf, and I know he’ll make a great King in the years to come, but something troubles me. He came to me last night,” before continuing you gauged Kili’s reaction, unsure of how much to reveal.

“Did he hurt you?” Kili’s tone immediately changed.

You shook your head, “No my cub, he came to apologise to me, to explain…only he never truly explained what happened or why he’d been so angry. Only that Fili was his heir and it shocked him to learn he’d been with me in that way, to hear there may be another heir that wasn’t pure dwarf,” you looked at the ground feeling ashamed all of a sudden. 

“Fili isn’t the first and he won’t be the last dwarf to have fallen for a human,” Kili said as he dragged his chair closer to yours.

“Yes but he’s a Prince and I’m…”

“Beautiful,” Kili said with a smile, “You’re perfect for him, and again he won’t be the first Prince to have fallen for one other than his kind.” There was a strange twinkle in his eye when he said this and then it dawned on you.

“You?”

Kili said nothing but just grinned for a second, “Not just me.”

“Oh Mahal what have I done!” You cried and put your head in your hands.

“Hey, hey now, I’ve never heard you use that word,” Kili cooed and wrapped his arms around you.

“I’m sorry Kili,” you felt yourself welling up, had promised yourself you wouldn’t cry and yet now it didn’t seem to matter. Once the tears begun to flow you found them near impossible to stop, you pushed your knuckles into your eyes trying to stem the salty water. Your make-up now ruined you couldn’t bear to look at him.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Kili gave a laugh, not a cruel or unkind laugh, rather a sincere one that there was no hiding from. 

You looked up to see his eyes meeting yours, he brushed the hair from your face, some of it wet and clinging to your skin. He pulled a clean handkerchief from his pocket and used it to wipe under your eyes.

“Everything will be just fine, just you see. What did Thorin say that worried you so much?”

You shook your head, “Nothing, it was his tone, how upset and angry he was at himself more than anything. I believe in him, but I worry that the sickness still has a hold over him and whilst it isn’t there most of the time, there’s moments when it controls him. Is that stupid?” 

Kili shook his head, “No, no,” he soothed and rubbed your back. “I see it to.”

“You do?”

He nodded, “I’ve noticed it too, so has Fili, but he won’t talk about it because he’s Durin’s heir and he’s afraid the same sickness will poison him.”

You looked down at your stomach and felt your baby kicking, “Shhh little one, daddy will be back soon.” You gave a weary sigh, “I know; I too have feared that. I don’t think it’s unfixable though.”

“I agree, but I think we need to speak to others in the matter, keep it mostly to ourselves so we don’t anger him. But Dwalin, I feel he may have some idea of what to do, perhaps Balin. Maybe some time away from the Mountain will help, and when we return there is much work to do to distract him.” Kili paused, “I see the conflict in him often.”

There was a burning question you had to ask, “Has Thorin ever thought of marrying?” 

Kili shrugged, “He was in love, a long time ago but she died and since then he has raised Fili as his heir, no question of him falling in love again or having a dwarfling of his own.”

You heard your stomach grumble and wrinkled your nose, “Guess I haven’t eaten much huh? Would you like a drink?”

“Let me get it,” Kili placed his hand on your knee and went to stand.

“No, please I hate feeling like an invalid,” you stood up and left Kili alone whilst you went to the kitchen.

You made a large pot of tea and grabbed some lemon drizzle cake and oranges to take back to your room. When you returned you found Kili admiring one of the paintings on the wall.

“Oh that’s my horse,” you said with a grin.

“Can’t say I’m the biggest fan of horses or ponies for that matter, looks grand though.”

Kili returned his attention to you and brought over a small coffee table to place between the two chairs and you set down the tray. 

“The cake is delicious,” you offered some to Kili who took it gladly.

“Now, was that all that was bothering you?”

You nodded and felt a slight pain in your stomach and rubbed gently. “I can’t wait to get the next two months out of the way.” Even as you spoke you realised there was one flaw with that, giving birth. 

“You’ve gone all sad again, aren’t you excited to meet your baby?”

“Of course,” you sipped your tea and took a large bite of the cake, “It’s just,” you sighed, embarrassed to be having this conversation with someone else. “I’m scared Kili, I won’t go into detail as I did last night with Thorin and he’s already said he’ll speak to Oin and my doctors, the midwife and even call the Lady Galadriel if he has to.”

Kili nearly chocked on his tea when you said that, “Lady Galadriel but why?” He asked.

“I’m afraid Kili, there I said it, afraid of giving birth, this baby is going to be far larger than any child a human should have to give birth to,” your hands begun to tremble again as you spoke.

Kili jumped up and placed his tea down, returning to your shoulders and massaging them once again, “I promise you it will be okay. And I happen to know someone who is wonderful at Elvish medicine,” he said as he kissed the top of your head.

“Really?”

“Yes, we didn’t get to tell you of all our adventures at Lake Town, but I have an idea and someone I want you to meet.”

“Really?” you gave a smirk.

He nodded, “Yes and I think she’ll be able to help you.” Kili leaned round to place a hand on your stomach; you held it there so he could feel your baby kicking. This other hand gently traced the skin of your neck lulling you into a hypnotic state. 

The door swung open and Fili walked in, Kili removed his hand from your stomach immediately and took his other hand away from your neck, you could hear him scratching at his hair. Fili appeared confused for a moment when he saw the two of you together in such an intimate fashion. But Fili was always so cool headed and assessed situations before making accusations. A smirk soon appeared on his face, “My lady got you working brother?” He said playfully as he strode across the room.   
“I offered,” Kili interjected.

“Always a gentleman,” Fili teased as he took the seat Kili had been sat in. 

“What did Thorin want?” You asked quickly.

“To apologise,” Fili picked up Kili’s now empty cup and filled it with tea. “To explain, apologise and make things right. Then there was other business concerning,” he looked at your stomach, “the birth,” he added quietly on account of Kili.

“Oh it’s fine Fili we’ve been speaking about it,” you confessed.

“Oh,” Fili blushed a little and avoided eye contact with his brother. 

Kili placed his hands back on you to continue where he left off, his hands traveling up and down your back, you felt finally relaxed with both your dear friend and lover in your room looking after you.

“But I fear you have been crying,” Fili sounded worried as he reached out to stroke your face.

“Oh, I had forgotten, it’s okay now,” you rubbed your cheek into his hand. 

“What happened?” 

You shook your head, “Worrying about Thorin, you, giving birth, but it’s okay, Kili looked after me,” you smiled up at the brother. 

Fili took your hands in his and kissed your knuckles, “Still so beautiful, try not to worry petal, our Uncle is doing everything he can to make sure things so smoothly. He’s truly sorry.”

You nodded, “Oh I know, and beautiful?” You mocked, “With a snotty nose, bloodshot eyes and ruined make-up?”

Fili gave a chuckle, “Yeah even with all that. Now, I know how I can cheer you up,” Fili pulled you up from your chair and away from Kili. He traced your back down to your behind and squeezed. His other hand coasting over your breasts and gently rubbing one of your nipples. 

“Fili stop,” you pushed him away gently, giggling.

“Oh it won’t make you feel better?” You thought Fili looked so sorry for himself.

You pointed in the direction of Kili, “Your brother,” you walked over to him and pulled him into an awkward hug on account of your stomach. 

“Thank you my cub,” you whispered in his ear and kissed his lips for a brief moment.

Fili stepped in between the two of you and wrapped his arms round kissing each of you on the cheek.  
“I am sorry brother, I’m quite afraid I get carried away.”

Kili nudged Fili, “Don’t let me stand in the way.”

You shook your head, “Come on you two let’s find the others, I dare say we’ve been gone long enough.” You turned to Fili, “And you my lion, will have to learn how to be patient.”


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dwarves mount up on ponies to explore the grounds, that is after a minor disaster. The reader confides in their best friend about the situation/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies this has taken so long to upload. This chapter is a little bit of a filler, however there's a few nice interactions (I think). Y/F/N - your friends name. This hasn't been beta-read and I don't love this chapter but I've been working on it for weeks and wanted something up before hobbitcon!

Kili and Fili got up from their seats and joined you, one either side, linking their arms with yours.

“I’m sorry I can’t walk faster,” you apologised as you wobbled through the halls.

“Don’t be silly,” Kili replied. 

It was the other two who spoke most of all on the way down to the stables; you didn’t wish to interrupt and enjoyed listening to them bickering about everything from who caught the biggest snake when they were younger to who made the best mead. You were just hoping that when you got down to the stables that the dwarves hadn’t run off and started to cause trouble elsewhere.

You soon heard laughter and what sounded like Thorin shouting and trying to regain control of a situation that was clearly anything but ordered. When you reached the path that led down to the stables you saw what you could only describe as carnage. The dwarves were riding horses that were far too big for them and Thorin was sat, head in his hands apparently having a break down. The stable boy, John who was tasked with looking after them, was crying. 

You couldn’t help but utter, “Shit,” under your breath. You turned to each of the brothers who looked equally as concerned as you. Perhaps it was strange for them, usually being the source of such chaos but now on your side.

As you got closer you witnessed Bifur attempt to stand on a horse’s back to which it kicked and ran off into the field beyond. John screaming after it. Nori and Bofur were leaping around the stacks of hay; Bombur was eating the apples that were meant for the horses.

“What on earth is going on!?” You called as you broke away from the brothers and ran as fast as your stomach would allow you to, down the stony path.

Fili was calling after you; no doubt terrified you’d fall and hurt yourself and the baby. 

When you got there John had returned without the horse and still in tears. Nori had jumped down from the hay stacks and now had his arm around John and was trying to calm him to no avail.

“She’s gonna kill me,” the boy was crying.

“Oh no, no she’s not, she’ll understand you see.” Nori soothed and gave a worried look in Bofur’s direction. 

You took a deep breath, this wasn’t going to be good, placing your hands on your hips you spoke, “Understand what?” 

“Ah, no…” Nori started as he stood and puffed out his chest. 

“Nori…” you said as you moved closer and looked down on the dwarf.

You could see Thorin shifting uncomfortably in the background, but when he looked up and caught your eye you couldn’t miss the cheeky grin on his face. It was so unlike Thorin, but then again you’d seen this mischievous side to him before, before he was King, on rare moments when caught off guard. 

“I tried to stop them my lady,” the boy said as he looked at you with bloodshot eyes.

You placed a hand on his shoulder, “Come now, dry those tears. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

The look the boy gave you was definitely one of someone who wanted to believe the words they were hearing, yet couldn’t quite trust themselves to believe in them.

“I promise,” you continued as you placed your other hand on his free shoulder. “But I think we could do with tidying up here don’t you?”

You looked out across the fields to see the horse that had run off eating grass, you whistled and one of them looked up, its ears twitched. 

“Thorin,” you called across to him.

Thorin approached slowly, “What can I do?”

You pointed in the direction of the horse, “I don’t suppose you fancy trying to bring him home?”

It took longer than expected to clean up the stables and round up the horses again and that was before the dwarves had even gone for a trek. You sat watching them, occasionally picking things up and moving them from one place to another. You hated feeling helpless and like you were letting the others down.

“Love sit down,” Fili rubbed the small of your back as you bent over sweeping some hay into a neat pile.

You stopped begrudgingly and walked outside into the fresh summer’s air. You stretched your arms high above your head and sighed. You watched a buzzard circle the field below, wondered what it would be like for a moment to fly away with Fili and escape from all of the chaos you were sure would soon eschew.

You heard someone whistling behind you and singing Misty Mountains softly, it only made you want to lay down and fall asleep on the grass. You allowed yourself to sit down and fall back, your head hitting a soft pillow of wild flowers and long grasses.

Your eyelids shut slowly, you could still see the light beyond, or at least you were aware of it, the sun beamed down and warmed your cheeks. You could hear the commotion behind you, but after spending so much time worrying about things you decided that it was okay to relax. It was comforting to be with friends and to relax, though due to your weight you couldn’t stay on your back for too long.

You opened your eyes and watched the clouds drift by, your breathing slowed and you felt you eyelids getting heavy again so rolled onto your left side. You could still hear them; it was comforting to know you were not alone and were in the company of friends.

The smell of the grass was intoxicating. You felt something shift and move beside you, Balin lowered himself onto the grass and then stared at you, a warm smile on his face.  
“Aye I know, it’s a lot to handle, you don’t need to say a word,” he laughed.

You smiled, “How do you do it? How did Thorin do it? They seem so easily distracted,” you joked as you looked back at the chaos behind where finally some order was being resorted.  
“The quest is over, they can relax now,”Balin said softly.

You nodded, “Makes sense, but poor John.”

The boy’s eyes were still red, though finally he was able to stop crying.

“I suppose it’s good to have terrible days at work when you’re young,” you laughed, then covered your mouth as a way of apologising for swearing in front of Balin.

He placed an arm on your shoulder, “Nothing to be sorry for.”

Just then you were interrupted, John had rushed over, “I’m sorry miss, we’ve managed to get most of the horses back and in line but you know what they’re like, they often only listen to you and..”

You cut him off, “Okay I’m coming,” you let out a sigh; barely a moments peace was afforded to you.

Balin helped you to stand up despite you being considerably taller. It didn’t take long to get the ponies and horses stood in order for the hack, John had done a good job of getting them ready for the day trip, you were impressed.

“Nice work,” you patted John on the back.

He looked at you, surprised, “Really?” He couldn’t hide the warning in the voice that suggested he hadn’t trusted your initial assessment. 

You nodded, “Definitely getting better,” you gave a wink.

“Right you lot,” you turned to the dwarves, “Now you’ve had your fun and nearly driven our boy to insanity, I think it’s time we take you out and show you the grounds.”

The dwarves gave a cheer, you continued, “Can you promise me not to misbehave for Johnny?”

“You’re not coming with us?” Kili asked stepping forward, the smile washed from his face.

“Kili my dear, I’m heavily pregnant, it would be dangerous for me to ride, I will accompany you by foot for territory close by. But John is an excellent tour guide; you are more than in capable hands.”

As you left the stable, others on their respective ponies, you prayed that nothing else went wrong before the day was done. As you passed by the walled gardens and into the field of wild flowers you felt infinitely more hopeful, the thought of running through this field with your child, feeding the goats and collecting eggs from the chickens filled you with joy. 

You and Fili hadn’t talked about where you would live after the baby was born, but you didn’t see the point in worrying about that now.

You heard hooves trotting getting closer to you, “My love is everything okay?” Fili asked.

You shot him a smile, “Yes Fili, everything is perfect.”

“It’s beautiful here,” he said, “I never knew Kingdom’s of man could be so wondrous.”

You nodded, “I’ve always loved it here. It’s not quite the elven realms but it’s still beautiful.”

You looked back behind you, the view of the castle and your home was perfect. You got the horses to turn round so the dwarves could take it all in, even Thorin seemed impressed.

Fili gave you a deep kiss, the others all whistled and you rolled your eyes, unsure of when they would get used to the two of you being together.

You watched the dwarves mount their ponies, trying not to laugh at how cumbersome they were. You knew it wasn’t polite to giggle but you couldn’t help it.

You gave a sigh and walked to the side of Fili’s pony, “I shall leave you here, but will see you later on at dinner,” you patted the pony and then watched them ride off to the border of the forest. They all looked over their shoulders to wave at you as they left, you blew them kisses and waved, like a mother watching her children leave for school. 

 

Back inside you couldn’t help but worry about what adventures the dwarves would get up to and whether or not they’d be okay. You knew worrying was a waste of time, after-all they’d defeated a dragon, in a roundabout fashion, and conquered during the battle of five armies. No, your dwarves would be just fine, you were certain of it. 

Yet on reaching your room and staring out across the valley you couldn’t help but think of Thorin. How the two of you had lain so closely together outside, underneath blankets. How strong he was, how warm you were and how certain you’d become that he’d do anything to protect you. Writing everything down in your diary seemed the surest way to feel better and clarify your feelings, though you were terrified that someone would find it.

No one had ever found your diary before so you convinced yourself that fact would remain. After all there was no one you felt that you could talk to and in all certainty be sure they would tell no one. It was safer this way and in time the feelings would pass, in time you would give birth and be married to the Prince. Yes, time fixes all.

There was a loud knock on your door; fear took a hold even though there was nothing to fear, unless it was Thomas. You gulped, “Hello?” Your voice quavered.

“Y/N?” It was your best friend.

You gave an audible sigh of relief, “Come in.”

The door opened slowly as your friend backed into the room, tray in hand. The plate had a giant slice of carrot cake, some grapes and there was a large pot of tea, steam billowing from the spout. 

“Thought you might like something after your adventure outside.”

“Adventure?” You queried as you got up, walking over to the table in front of the fire, where you and Kili had been talking hours earlier.  
“We heard about the horses,” she giggled.

“Oh,” you rolled your eyes, “dwarves.” You laughed despite yourself.

“Your dwarves brother is very handsome though,” she winked as she placed the tray on the table.

You laughed, “Well I can’t deny that.”

“Is there anything else you’d like?” She asked clasping her hands together.

You shook your head, “No, this is lovely thank you.”

She gave a curt bow and turned to leave you in peace. There was something about her that had always drawn you to her, despite her being employed by your father; she was also your friend. You didn’t have many friends; it was all family, friends of family, those who worked for your father… There were a few in the town whom you knew well, some from when you were younger but you’d always worried about ulterior motives. 

She was different however, she’d always been there for you and it had always felt like a friend.

“Actually Y/F/N, there is something you can do,” you smiled as you pulled out the chair next to you.

“Grab another cup and come talk with me.”

When she returned you told her everything, spearing no details. However this was only after she swore on her life and father’s grave never to tell a soul. She listened intently, not once interrupting or trying to interrupt as you spoke; instead just watching you, sipping her tea occasionally.

When you’d finished you rest your head in your hands, “I don’t know what to do,” you murmured.

“Well,” she begun, “It seems to me what you’re experiencing is perfectly normal.”

You look up from your sorrow and stared at her, not quite able to believe what she was saying to you.

“Normal?” You repeated.

She nodded, “When my husband, Aegean and I got married, well I had doubts. Well, not really doubts, just a lot of conflicting emotions and when I was pregnant,” she gave a sigh and looked to the sky as she recalled memories, “I was a mess.”

You felt awful, you had no idea, the person you considered to be your closest friend and you didn’t even know her. Everything you’d ever spoken about had always been about you or the latest obsessions in the halls and town, the most famous singers, dress designers, painters, which soldiers were secretly sleeping with which ladies. All idle, useless gossip that revealed far too much about yourself and nothing of her.

She nodded, smile wide and bright.

You felt ashamed, “I’m sorry, we never talk about your family,” she stopped you from speaking.

“It’s not my place to talk about it, you’ve done nothing wrong. Now as for your situation, you’re pregnant; your hormones are all over the place. You’ve just seen the man you love for the first time in ages, a man you were terrified would die in battle. His Uncle, who is known to have a bit of a temper.”

You shot her a warning glance; it was never worth speaking ill of royalty, though you knew there was some truth in it – but a reason for that truth. The same with Thranduil’s coldness you’d found.”

She continued, “He gets angry, you’re bound to be angry, scared, confused, frustrated and then he comes to you late at night. Apologies, is overly friendly but almost knows he’s doing something wrong. Perhaps he too is afraid of how he feels, afraid of change. Gods a lot has happened in one year!” She exclaimed.  
You nodded and ran your finger round the plate to scrape up any icing that was left.

“Maybe he does have feelings for you and he couldn’t help but say something but is trying to control himself. The dragon sickness can take a hold I imagine, from everything I’ve read in books anyway. Even though Smaug is dead, perhaps whatever rested over that gold has rubbed off on him and will take time to go. As for you feeling guilty and having these thoughts about him. Thorin is attractive, and again I’m repeating your hormones are all over the place. They are similar in a way and after all the attention he showered you with last night, it’s no wonder. But honestly I think you’re over thinking it.”

She paused and placed her tea cup back on the tray, “Do you love him?”

“Huh?”

“Fili, do you love him?”

“Of course,” you answered immediately, “with all my heart,” you placed a hand on your stomach protectively. 

“Well then there’s your answer, you said Fili and Thorin spoke and now everything seems okay? Maybe you don’t need to know what was said and maybe you don’t have to talk about it to either of them anymore.” She placed a hand on your shoulder.

You looked at her and then bent forward to kiss her check, “Thank you,” you held her hands and squeezed them. Her words had reassured you and the question as to whether you loved Fili? That was what put your mind at ease.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alone with Fili at last the reader enjoys a bath with Fili by their side, however conversation soon turns to Thorin and what happened the night before. Recklessness, high emotions and forbidden fantasies leave the night ending in what may be a tradgedy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, firstly I am so sorry! I know I haven't updated in half a year... I never intended to abandon the story for so long and I promise it will be finished (I'm aiming for 8 or 9 chapters, 10 at most) and I have already started chapter seven.   
> Secondly, thank you so much for the kudos and comments, it really keeps me going especially when I get out of the groove with a story.   
> Thirdly, sorry this chapter is also kind of short. I didn't want it to go any further as I feel the next part should be a chapter of it's own and I didn't want to hold back posting any longer. 
> 
> Warning - this chapter has more graphic adulterous fantasies in it, if that kind of thing makes you uncomfortable then be warned.
> 
> Trigger Warning - problematic pregnancy/injury/falling when pregnant, bleeding, implicated injuries etc.

It was hours before you were finally alone with Fili and figured that since everyone knew you were together and had indeed slept together the night before, he may as well spend the night in your bed. 

Fili had ordered for a bath to be drawn for you, he’d poured a mixture of milk, lavender and petals into the water and helped lower you down into the tub. You were still wearing a white night gown, not that you minded him seeing you naked but it felt more like you were protecting your child with the cotton wrapped round you, a layer close across your skin.

Fili sat on a stool behind you, washing your hair, running his fingers across your scalp and massaging it. You shut your eyes and leaned back, Fili gave a low chuckle against your ear.

“You like that?”

You pulled away from him for a moment to nod, “Aye, and it’s nice to have your hands on me for once.”

“As opposed to my brother?”

You laughed, “Yes, you know there was nothing in that?” You said suddenly concerned. 

“I know,” Fili said quietly, “And Thorin?” He asked, his tone shifted and you could have sworn his grip on you tightened a little.

“Thorin?” You stuttered.

“Yes, is it good to have my hands on you instead of Thorin’s?”

You felt a lump in your throat, “T-thorin, I…”

You were struggling with what to say, how to explain the night before. What on earth had Thorin said to his nephew? You wanted Fili gone before you threw up into the water you were bathing in, hardly an attractive thing to do in front of a Prince and the one you loved. Courtesies had never been your strong point and feeling as vulnerable as you did the last thing you wanted was to give Fili an excuse to leave you. Thorin, why did Thorin have to get involved? If Fili found out now you’d be ruined, pregnant, unmarried, a shame to your country. But then you didn’t do anything, you didn’t do anything wrong, did you?

“Yes, Thorin said the two of you were rather close last night,” he removed his hands from your head.

“Fili,” you cried out, “It wasn’t,” just as you begun to cry, leaning forward into the bathtub, trying to lower yourself and escape his hands. 

“Y/N whatever is wrong?” Fili took a hold of your hands and pulled you back closer to him. You thrashed for a moment splashing water over the tub, wishing you weren’t pregnant so you could jump out of the bath and escape his judgment.

“Thorin told me how he’d been to see you, how you’d talked about things, how he helped you get to sleep and how he’d held you.”

You turned the best you could in the cramped space, your eyes met his through the steam, like a deer in the headlights, panic had flooded your core. 

“Come let me get you a cold drink,” Fili was up in a flash and had disappeared out of the room. 

You began to shiver, even though the water was perfectly hot, you felt cold inside. Fili was perfect, he was everything you wanted in a man, only a dwarf. And yet you imagined it, nearly felt it, the pull between yourself and Thorin. You imagined being with him, Thorin’s arm snaking round your back and pulling you into him.

As Thorin entered you, you screamed out, it felt as if he were ripping you in two and yet something about it felt glorious. His hands were round your throat and he was squeezing, tighter and tighter until you were unable to breathe. Your walls clamped tighter around him, you panted in desperation, terrified that at any moment you would pass out but quickly terrified he would let go. 

“My love,” Thorin moaned, hot and raspy breaths into your ear.

Love, he had never called you love before in your fantasies, that was new. Only you weren’t his love, you were Fili’s love, his nephews love. And gods this was so wrong but guilt caved in to pleasure, the act was already in the making, the pain orchestrated. There was nothing either of you could do you felt that would ever absolve you of guilt. 

You removed your hand from between your legs, “fuck,” you screamed at yourself and made a fist before punching the side of the tub.

You knew nothing would happen between you and Thorin, you didn’t want anything to happen but you did need to know why he was acting like that round you and not just a simple because he likes you. There had to be more to it. You blamed the pregnancy hormones mostly. 

You stood up with difficulty and as you raised one leg you wobbled slightly. You grabbed hold of the tub to steady yourself and managed to lift the other leg out. Your back was in agony now, your whole body felt like it was being pulled forwards.

As your other leg hit the ground you slipped, you weren’t sure how it happened but the whole world felt like it was falling from your grip and away from you. You landed with a heavy thud on the wooden floor and screamed as you did so.

Your eyes closed for a moment, the world seemed still and then you blinked a few times. All you knew was pain; you could see blood on the floor beside you and were unable to move your legs.

“Y/N! Y/N!” You heard Fili call and the familiar sound of rushing, heavy boots.

Fili was beside you, his hand on your forehead, “Help!” He shouted, you winced from the noise.

“Fili,” you began, “I don’t know where to begin.”

Fili looked at you as you struggled to keep your eyes open, “Nowhere, my love just stay still don’t panic.”

“Fili, Thorin stayed that night,” every breath hurt, every word tore at your throat but you had to say something.

Though you were fighting to keep your eyes open you couldn’t help but notice Fili’s expression change.

“Y/N please we’ll talk about this later,” his hands were on your stomach, he’d placed a cushion underneath your head.

“Nothing happened,” you fought to say.

“I know, my Uncle told me,” Fili cooed. 

You shook your head, what had Thorin told him? You knew you had to calm down, to steady your breathing as this would be no good for the baby but it was hard to reign in the panic, the fear and the guilt. 

You heard the sound of footsteps and raised voices as others entered the room. You looked down at your belly and tried to reach out for it, to hold it, to protect your unborn child but you were unable to stretch your arm out, unable to reach that far. Your mind willed for it to happen but it wouldn’t.

Fili saw what you were trying to do and so he reached out for you instead. You noticed something else, blood, you were bleeding. A pool of blood was collecting underneath you, it felt sticky and warm and you noticed the expression on Fili’s face change drastically. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he rubbed your belly gently, “I promise you everything will be okay.” You could tell he was fighting back the tears, you wanted to tell him that it was okay, that if he needed to cry it was okay but you found you didn’t have the strength. You needed all your strength just to concentrate on breathing. 

The door burst open and you could just hear the sound of footsteps and what you were sure was Oin’s voice and Thorin, Thorin was there.

“Mother,” you spoke in nought but a whisper.

“She’s not here my love, but I’m here.” Fili whispered, tears welled in his eyes as he kissed your cheek, his hand warm on your stomach.

You didn’t want Thorin there now; you wanted Fili, only Fili. Your selfishness and fantasies had caused your unborn child pain and you could never forgive yourself for that.

As if reading your thoughts Fili spoke, “There’s nothing to forgive,” his lips were on yours as he held you, both trembling and equally as weak as one another.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader has a most magnificent dream that they hope is a premonition of the future. They are comforted when they wake by Thorin and have a more serious conversation about what's going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while, but thanks to nanowirmo I forced myself to continue and finish working on this! Hope you enjoy! Thanks for all the previous kudos and comments as always it's greatly appreciated and what gave me motive to continue when I wasn't feeling up to it.

You awoke slowly from the most satisfying and relaxing dream. There had been a waterfall gushing into a pool that reflected the stars. You could smell wet earth and hear nothing but the breeze and crickets in the night. It was warm, a summer’s night you guessed and you felt at peace. You had striped off your clothes to swim in the warm water, laying on your back you watched the night sky dance as it seemed to come alive. It was the first time in weeks you’d truly felt the guilt and anxiety lift from your shoulders, your muscles relaxed as you exhaled slowly. 

There was a brief moment of panic when you looked down, noticing what was different about yourself. Your belly had shrunk and it appeared you were no longer pregnant. But just as you feared the worst you heard the sound of giddy laughter. You forced your legs down under the water against the weight and stood up, your hair falling over your shoulders, arms wrapped tightly around you as it seemed cooler now. 

Could that be your child? There was laughter of another too, older, more mature. You inhaled deeply through your nose and closed your eyes, praying that it were true. When you opened them there was a rustle in the bushes the other side of the bank as the laughter got closer to you and then he appeared. A young boy, golden hair just like his father came running through the wood, clutching a small wooden bow to his chest.

“Daddy stop,” he giggled as Fili appeared and grabbed hold of the boy, tickling his sides until he was on the floor in fits of laughter. 

Fili was blowing raspberries into the boys stomach and he was screaming in delight, “I told you the big bad monster was going to get you,” he laughed as he tickled him some more. 

Fili looked up and smiled warmly as he saw you watching, “Look,” he said to the boy, “Shall we go swim with your mother?”

The boy looked up, “Mother!” He cried with delight and pulled himself to his feet. 

You woke up, smile still painted on your face, some confusion looming though as your eyes opened and what happened the night before came back into memory. 

“Oh…” you sighed, tears already welling up. 

You tried to move, you lifted your head in an attempt to sit up but found it too painful to cope and so let your head fall back into the soft goose feather pillow. Dawn had broken, you could hear blackbirds and song thrushes outside the window, there was a warm glow to the room and it smelt like cloves. 

Your dream coming back to you, you reached for your stomach and gave a relieved sigh when you felt your bump still there. Cursing yourself had become quite the habit, how could you have been so stupid as to try and lift yourself out of the bath alone? Fill was there he could have assisted you had you just been patient. This was your babies’ life you were risking, that thing that was more precious to you than anything… But then your hormones were all over the place, there were too many conflicting emotions and it had become tremendously difficult to understand what was real and what was not. 

Your throat felt dry, you looked to your side and there was a tankard that you were sure must have had something in it, only when you tried to reach out for it, tried to sit up you couldn’t.

“Here let me help,” the voice came from the shadows of the room and the figure got closer.

Thorin sat by your side, he placed his arm behind you and helped you to sit up before putting some extra pillows behind your head. He held the tankard out to you which was full of cool water, after several sips you felt far more alert and yourself again. 

“Fili’s been worried about you,” Thorin begun as he got up and paced around the room. 

“I know…” you muttered quietly, “I’m sorry.”

Thorin turned to look at you, eyes questioning, “ What ever for?”

You wished you could draw your knees up to your head and become more of a shadow, “For causing such chaos…. Fili must be heartbroken.”

Thorin walked over to you and sat down again, taking your hands in his much larger ones. 

“What?” He seemed to kind and gentle now, not like he had before.

“Because it’s my fault, I hurt our baby and I had dreams, fantasies about you and even with Kili I was getting too close and I’m so confused,” you paused and just as Thorin seemed to be about to speak you swore in frustration. 

Thorin squeezed your hand gently, “Y/N you’ve done nothing wrong, it’s understandable the way you are feeling and I…” Thorin paused, tried to calculate what he was trying to say, “I know that I haven’t been very Kingly round you, I should have behaved far better than I have… I have let you down, let my nephew down and myself…I..”

You squeezed his hand in return, Thorin had mellowed so much since your last conversation, his words were sincere and your heart rate slowed as you listened.

“There’s something missing in my life… it doesn’t take a genius to see what,” he shut his eyes, “There was someone once, you remind me of them… I think I was jealous of Fili…and there is something in me, something that remains that is hard to control.”

You lifted the tankard and took another sip, you knew where Thorin was going with this.

“The dragon may be dead but…”

You interjected placing the tankard back on the side with a little too much force, “Thorin it’s okay you don’t need to explain to me, I understand.”

“You do?”

“Dragon sickness right… there’s something there, something you cannot quite explain but it makes you do things you cannot account for, behave in a way that is out of character…” You spoke slowly, hoping you were right and that Thorin wouldn’t take offence. 

Thorin nodded gravely, “Don’t worry I’m not offended by you thinking that,” he paused and cast his eyes down to your stomach.

You felt the heat rise in your cheeks, “Thorin… it’s not a bad thing, not necessarily, it’s just a part of you, you just have to learn how to control it,” you wished you hadn’t said it the moment you spoke the words, the last thing you wanted to sound was commanding to such a man. 

“I’m sorry Thorin, I didn’t mean,” you stuttered. 

Thorin chuckled, “I’m not offended, I know…and you’re right. The worst thing for me would be to let you down, my nephews down, my people…”

You reached out and stroked Thorin’s face, “Thorin I doubt you could hurt your people if you tried. You have a good soul and no matter what you might thing you didn’t succumb to the dragon sickness, not like others before you. You can break that curse.”

Thorin looked thoughtful and then nodded, “Yes, I think you’re right and if not for me, then for the future.”

You smiled, “This little boy or girl is going to be so loved aren't they?”

“Ohhh they’ll have all the love in the world,” Thorin paused, “You know Fili… he really isn’t mad with you y/n, he forgives whatever may have happened… he knows it was my fault not yours.”

You cursed yourself yet again remembering what had happened the other night, “I’ll never live that down and Fili deserves better than that.”

Thorin shook his head adamantly, “No, you did nothing wrong, I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through right now. I should have known better, you’ve had to handle most of this pregnancy alone, without any of us to help. We come back but still you barely get a moment alone with Fili, there’s that awful man Tom to contend with… I shouldn’t have done what I did, I only pray to mahal you forgive me.”

You cupped his cheek and he smiled, eyes shut he looked every part the noble King.

“Thorin there is nothing to forgive, it is done, now we move on.”

You believed in your words, whatever had happened over the past week was over with. The feelings you’d had that had been so confused were as Thorin said, a result of hormones, too much emotion and being alone for so long. The thought of breaking Fili’s heart, the thought of ruining what you had between the two of you caused you to feel such dread that you knew for certain where your heart lie.

You reached out for the tankard, Thorin helped you hold it to your lips as you drank greedily.

“Where is Fili?” You asked as your hands reached down to stroke your belly.

“Asleep, he was up all night watching over you. We talked things through and eventually he trusted me to watch over you. Kili made sure he got to sleep okay.”

You smiled but still couldn’t escape from the guilt you felt, “And my baby?”

“Oin said it will be fine, it is likely to be born prematurely now… but it was just stress and that fall you had. For now you must rest, eat well and drink will,” he instructed, his voice taking on a more serious tone. 

You nodded, “Don’t worry Thorin, I think that is something I am quite capable of,” you slid back down into bed so you were laying down, your hands folded across your body, hand gently stroking your stomach, you gave a sigh. 

Thorin placed a gentle kiss to your forehead, “I promise I’ll make all of this right, it is my duty as a King.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, there will be one more chapter after this to finish it off. It's been over a year since I started this, as always I wanted to make it longer but life took over. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter, please let me know what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader wakes up again, this time to a different visitor, Fili. Their close moments are interrupted by an over-inquisitive Kili.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any mistakes please let me know as I've had no beta for this. It's another short chapter but fluffy and sweet! (I hope)

A few hours passed and you had fallen back to sleep, awoken by the sound of movement in your room you stirred slowly.

“Fili?” You called out into the darkness, you felt a little nauseous and once again disorientated. 

Someone, you assumed Thorin had drawn the curtains again so you could sleep in peace. 

“Fili?” You cried out again a little more desperate this time. 

“Shhhh,” Fili was right there by your side stood over you, his finger was pressed gently to your lip, he had such a warm smile on his face.

“Fili,” you repeated but this time softly, you nuzzled into his hand, “I’m so sorry…” you were trembling.

Fili climbed into the bed next to you and took your hands in his own, squeezing them gently. He pushed back the hair that had stuck to your forehead with sweat, unsurprising, the room was like a furnace. 

He snuggled up into your side, one of his large hands went across your smooth belly and rubbed, his hand was hot to the touch and soothed you. 

“Hey beautiful,” Fili said as he turned to smile at you. His hair seemed more messy than usual, his braids were coming undone.

“Hey,” you replied and went to stroke his cheek, “Look at the state of you,” you joked giving him a warm smile. You hand took a hold of one of his braids and twirled it round in your fingers.

“I know, how I look hasn’t exactly been top of my priority’s this past twelve hours,” he gave a sigh. 

You gulped, tears threatened to come once again, “I’m so sorry Fili, I should have been more open with how I feel, what was going on in my head… what was happening, or not happening with Thorin. I just didn't know what was best, I didn’t want to portray him, he is a good dwarf and I felt so trapped by this body of mine and useless and….”

Fili cut you off with a kiss, his lips tasted like honey, his other hand came round the back of your head and held you steady as he kissed you deeply. The kiss lasted what seemed like forever, he was nibbling your lips eliciting moans from you as he did this. His tongue pushed past your lips and begun to explore your mouth, you were feeling anything but sexy but somehow you couldn’t quite break away. Fili made you feel sexy, made you feel whole and like yourself which is why you knew with him you were at home.

He reluctantly pulled away, sighing as he did so, “Oh Y/N what are we to do?” 

You heart thumped against your chest, “What do you mean? 

“About the future… everything seems so difficult,” he sensed the concern in your face and quickly added, “But we will make it work, wherever we live we can travel to the other kingdom to visit.”

Fili gulped and shifted uncomfortably, you pulled him closer into your side and nuzzled into his chest, his heart was pounding fiercely, “It’s okay Fili, it’s okay, I trust you.”

You could hear Fili holding his breath and sensed there was something that he was just desperate to say, “What is it?” You asked shifting up and looking into his eyes with concern.

“I….” he stopped and took a deep breath. “I..there’s something I want to say but this isn’t where I wanted to say it.”

“What?” You asked, concern obvious.

Fili shifted and slid off the bed, you moved to sit where he had been as it was so comfy and warm.

He moved round the other side of the bed and pulled the covers off you, “Hey!” You exclaimed, even though the room was warm with the roaring fireplace, the weight of the duvet was still such a comfort to you.

“Come here,” Fili asked, his hands reached out for you. You took them and slowly shifted and swung yourself over the edge of the bed so your feet were dangling off, nearly touching the floor. 

You went to stand up and Fili stopped you, “No, no, you’re okay there,” he placed a hand on your knee.

Then he did the last thing you expected him to do, he got down onto one knee and held onto you tightly, “Y/N you mean the world to me you know that don’t you?”

You nodded, your breath quickening. 

“I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, this baby and you…my perfect family, you are all I want.”

You placed a hand on his, “Fili,” you started to cry, this was the reassurance you had so desperately needed. 

“Y/N would you do the greatest honour in the world and agree to marry me? Would you be my Queen?” Fili pulled the most beautiful bead from his pocket, silver and set with emeralds, engraved with leaves, he’d clearly spent an awfully long time picking out the perfect design for you.

“I…” you stuttered, off course the answer was yes but you found it so difficult to say the word out loud.

Fili’s eyes were looking up at you, pleading almost, the fire reflected in them and he appeared to burn bright, radiant and true.

“Fili, yes, of course!” You clapped your hands together with joy as the tears flowed freely now.

You went to get up onto your feet but this took longer than expected, Fili immediately took hold of you and helped pull you up, he slipped his arms around you and pulled you into an awkward but tight embrace.

“I love you, I love you,” he repeated and kissed your cheek.

You clung to him as if you’re life depended on it and then when you pulled apart he kissed you just as deeply as he had in bed.

“Here sit down again, let me put this in for you,” Fili held up the bead, you gulped and nodded. 

Fili took a large piece of hair and split it into multiple strands so he could braid it, the gentle pulling of your hair made you feel so relaxed and sent shivers up your spine. 

When he had gotten about half way down he looked at you as if asking for permission, you nodded, more certain of this than anything in your life, he slipped the bead up whilst keeping eye contact with you and then continued to braid to the bottom. Once there to seal it and stop it from coming undone he ripped a small thread out of his shirt and tied it round. His hand on your back he gazed at you, tears now in his eyes too.

“Thank you Y/N I promise you I won’t let you down, not now, not ever.”

You leaned in to kiss him again but just as your lips were about to touch the door crashed open, “So did she say yes brother, did she?!” An excitable Kili shouted as he stormed into the room.

Both you and Fili paused for a moment, lips nearly touching and gave a sideways glance to the other dwarf.

“Oh…sorry,” he muttered turning bright red, “I’ll just err,” he started to back out of the room.

Fili sighed, “No, no you’re here now, good thing you didn’t come crashing through a few minutes ago or you’d have ruined the whole thing,” he shook his head but couldn’t help but laugh a little. Kili had grown so much but there were some ways in which he would never change.

“Yes Kili, I said yes,” you smiled, “You and I will soon truly be brothers.”

Kili beamed, “Congratulations! This causes for a celebration surely!”

“Maybe once baby is born,” you stroked your stomach, concerned about over-exciting yourself in these difficult weeks ahead.

Kili nodded, “Yes, of course. Well maybe just a celebratory drink, just the three…” he paused and looked at your bump, “just the four of us.”

You chuckled and nodded enthusiastically, “Yes I think that would be just the thing.”

Fili’s hand snuck round your waist and he pulled you into to him so your head was on his shoulder. 

“Sleep now my love, never you fear, I’m not going anywhere.” 

You nodded but felt there was no way you could sleep with all the excitement and now thinking of marriage, though you thought of your father and suddenly your heart plummeted. 

“Fili,” you said concerned, you’d forgotten for a moment that Kili was in the room too.

“What is it love?”

You had no idea what dwarven customs were like when it came to marriage and whilst neither you nor your father saw you as an object that belonged to him or any man, you knew your father would at least appreciate the gesture or being asked, or at least the proposal being discussed with him. 

“My father,” you said slowly pulling away to face Fili, “Did you ask him?”

Fili took a deep breath, “Women, whether dwarves, hobbits, elves…” he paused, “or human, are not objects to be given away or owned by anyone. Where we come from when we are of age to marry we may do as we please, we go where the heart takes us.”

You sighed, “Oh.”

Fili stroked your hair, “That being said we do unfortunately have some arranged marriages, so nothing is perfect, politics can take president.”

You wondered for a moment that if this was the case then seeing as Fili was an heir to a throne why he wasn’t engaged to someone already. But then thinking that Erebor had only just been reclaimed that in a way made sense. 

“But Y/N yes, yes I did discuss this with your father, he knew of my intentions and he was more than happy.”

“Considering what’s growing inside you I’m not surprised,” Kili mused.

“Kili!” Fili snapped and shot his brother an angry stare.

Kili threw his hands up in defence, “Sorry! I just meant, you’re a good dwarf and considering that you are pregnant after all and you’ll be a Queen I couldn’t think of a man who would be unhappy.”

You nodded, “Kili, Fili it’s fine, thank you Fili, I agree and so does my father than some of these traditions are very out dated and we don’t really believe in them. I just thought it would be nice,” you gave a smile and felt comfortable enough to lean your head on Fili’s shoulder again. 

Your hand went down to your stomach and you rubbed your belly as if it were a lucky charm, perhaps it really was? Just then you felt the baby kick, you gave a wide grin, “Hello there little one,” you whispered. 

“Are they kicking?” Kili asked excitedly.” 

You nodded, “Yes, come feel.”

Kili knealt down beside you and placed a hand on your belly, you’d never seen someone smile so quickly as he did when he felt the movement of his niece or nephew. You placed your other hand on top of his and squeezed.

“You’ll be the best uncle in the world,” you turned to Fili, “And you the best father, my dearest hearts,” you felt such pride in both your husband to be and brother in law to be, and also in your father for dealing with such a different situation so easily and with such dignity and composure. Fili placed his hand next to yours so all three of you could just feel the movement inside. Kili leant his head on your belly and snuggled into you. 

“This is perfect,” you said aloud without meaning to.

Just then the door opened and you looked over to see Thorin stood in the doorway looking stern, however on seeing you and his nephews sharing such a close moment his face softened. 

“I’m not interrupting am I?”

Technically he was, but you didn’t mind, they were all a part of your new family now, “No Thorin, it’s okay, come on in baby is awake and would love to meet their great uncle.”

Thorin smiled, eyes warm, the way he looked at you for just a moment reminded you of how he’d looked the other evening. You knew there had been something there, not just due to the dragon sickness, but something real, a small spark had been ignited, at least on his part. But Thorin would have to move on from that and you hoped in time he would find a Queen to sit by his side. 

There was still something there when you looked at Thorin, it would take time you would learn for those feelings to pass, they made you feel guilty but then Fili knew the truth now. And you? You had learnt that feelings were not simple, that life was far more complicated than you had ever imagined. 

Thorin knelt in front of you next to his nephew, it seemed strange to see a King down on his knees like that, ready to serve you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry a short chapter I know! It just made more sense to break off there. I hope you enjoyed and please as always let me know if there are any mistakes as this hasn't had a beta.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final week or so running up to giving birth and tensions are high, the reader gets bored of laying around all day and doing nothing and ventures out with the dwarves. Bifur has a wonderful gift to give the reader, the two get into a little trouble in the woods and finally the big day arrives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the final chapter (for now) so there is a clear cut ending. This hasn't had a beta but I hope it's mostly okay! There's a lot of fluff in this chapter and some rather sweet interactions with other characters other than Kili/Fili/Thorin. I adore Bifur in this chapter <3

A week passed and you were able to get up once again, though Fili disapproved of you leaving the room for too long, it could be almost overbearing, but on recalling what had happened before you didn’t have the heart to say anything. He didn’t mind so much when your best friend accompanied you

Bofur sat down next to you and pulled out his pipe, though he shifted away a little and faced the other way when he exhaled the smoke, ever cautious and kind.

“How are yah feelin’love?” Bofur asked. 

“Alright, better than before anyway,” you gave him a fond smile.

“Things always turn out alright in the end you know.”

You nodded, “Yes somehow I can believe that, especially coming from you.”

“Oh aye?” He raised an eyebrow, “Why’s tha?”

You shrugged though you knew the answer, hand on your belly you answered, “I suppose it’s where you’ve been through so much, you’ve traveled so far you know? There must have been many times in your adventures when hope felt like the faintest flicker in the distance, but you pulled through.”

Bofur nodded, “Well with a leader like Thorin we could hardly fail could we?”

“No one is perfect Bofur, some of it must have come from within.”

“Aye well, courage in oneself is indeed important.”

It was nice to once again feel the breeze in your hair and fresh air against your skin, to smell the wild flowers and grass, though you were weary of walking too far or laying down on the grass for the fear that you’d never get back up again! 

Having your father home was the greatest of comforts especially now that Fili had asked you to marry him and they had time to get to know one another away from the others. 

Bifur came to you late one afternoon just as the sun was starting to set, you’d been sat with the dwarves and your father on a small wooden pier as they fished in the lake. They had all used your pregnancy as an excuse to slow down and have a few weeks out of working hard. He was clutching a green velvet back which he handed cautiously out to you.

“For me?” You asked as you pointed to yourself.

He nodded, blushing as he did so. When you took the bag he turned and quickly moved away from you. You reached into the bag and felt something wooden, as you pulled it out you revealed the most beautiful carved horse with a tail and mane made from real horse hair and eyes that gleamed as if it were alive. Underneath the bigger horse were two smaller carvings, foals you figured, for the baby. 

You looked up and were unable to see Bifur anywhere, “Bifur!” You called out.

Bofur appeared beside you, “Ahh lass he made those for you,” he grinned. “He’s been working on them for weeks, wanted to make them just perfect for you, he was so excited to give them to you.”

Bombur appeared next to Bofur and nodded before taking a chunk out of a large apple, “Only he gets a bit nervous you see, tha’s why he dashed off, just like my brother here,” he turned to Bombur who instantly turned red. 

“I believe Bombur has somethin’ for ya too, don’t ya brother?” he turned to Bombur who was still blushing furiously, but disappeared and a moment later arrived with a cake tin. Inside of it were the most beautiful little fruit cakes you’d ever seen.

You missed your mother and aside from your father there had been a significant lack of family in your life, but this made you feel far richer and luckier than you had in a long time. 

“Thank you Bombur,” You rushed forward to hug him but realised with the size of the both of you this would be difficult so hugged him awkwardly from the side. You gave him a kiss on his ruddy cheek and were sure you heard him mummer, “shucks.”

“Where can I find Bifur?” You asked, the toy bag still held tightly in your hands.

Bofur nodded his head in the direction of the woods, “I likes to sit by himself sometimes, the woods is always where he goes to hide when embarrassed though, he won’t be far.”

You nodded and slowly walked towards the woods by yourself, you knew if Fili or Kili had noticed you leaving the group they’d have gone spare. Bofur promised not to say anything, though equally promised that if you hadn’t returned in 10 minutes he and Bombur would come looking for you. Bofur understood your need to be given time alone more than any of the others. 

You stepped into the woods, it got dark there so quickly due to the evergreens that grew, there was fungi and moss that sprung up in the dead leaves and on tree bark but little else grew on the woodland floor there. You saw several deer just ahead spring out of your way and heard birds above you in the trees.

“Bifur?” You called out. 

There was no response, “Bifur?” You tried again this time a little louder but softer, “Bifur there’s no need to be embarrassed, I love the toys they’re beautiful. They might just be the most beautiful present someone has ever made me.”

You heard some rustling in the trees nearby and from behind emerged Bifur, blushing bright red, his messy hair cascading down his face. It was as if he had done that on purpose to hide the shade his face had turned. 

“There you are,” You smiled as you walked forward to him and held your arms open. Much to your surprise Bifur walked slowly towards you and pulled you into his arms the best he could with your stomach the size it was. 

Bifur smiled at you, “These are so beautiful, I will treasure them,” you stroked his hair, weary of the axe and kissed his forehead.

“Come on, shall we return to the others, they’ll be worried about where we’ve gotten to!” You chuckled then leant into him, “You’ll get me into a lot of trouble you know and we don’t want that do we,” you winked at him.

He smiled warmly and then giggled a little, winking back at you he shook his head. You held out your hand for him to take in yours and much to you surprise he obliged.

You’d only been walking for a minute when you heard a loud snarl coming from behind the bushes, the next minute several wolves had sprung forward. Usually you were so fond of wildlife and animals, it wasn’t their fault that they needed to hunt to survive. When fit and able you were able to scare them off without injuring them but now it was painful to walk, let alone to do anything else. 

Bifur immediately jumped in front of you to defend you and pulled out the axe that was at his side and started to snarl, imitating the wolves, giving them warning looks as he did so. 

The wolves got a little closer and Bifur sprung forward, head held high, snarling even louder and wielding the axe in front of his face. To your amazement the wolves backed off and finally ran away howling as they did so. Bifur turned back round to you only when he was certain that the danger was gone and smiled, before thumping his chest and pointing to you. 

“Oh Bifur,” You were close to tears, feeling weary once again you slumped to the floor. Bifur knelt down beside you and took your hands into his own, he started to speak in Kazdul, you had no idea what he was saying but it sounded comforting and reassuring. 

You heard footsteps rapidly getting closer and more rustling in the bushes, when you looked up Bofur was there with Bombur ladle in hand and Fili and Kili were in tow. 

“Y/N what are you doing out here?!” Fili scolded as he went to pull you up roughly. 

“Oww you’re hurting me,” you exclaimed and pulled away from him. Fili needed to learn to control the temper which you no longer doubted came from his uncle.

“Brother,” Kill placed his hand on Fili’s shoulder, “It’s okay, she’d okay, she was with Bifur look.”

Fili looked down at the other dwarf who looked truly sorry.

“That’s right,” you said, “We were….talking,” you realised that word sounded stupid when talking about Bifur. “He was protecting me, I wasn’t alone, it was just some wolves but bifur frightened them off, there’s no need to be so angry,” only you felt yourself growing angry as you spoke.

“I’m angry because I care!” Fili snapped as he pulled away from Kili, his head was in his hands for a moment but when he looked up and saw the expressions on the faces of the other dwarves he closed his eyes, “I’m sorry y/n I shouldn’t have shouted…” he sighed and went to help pull you up once again, though this time he was far more gentle.

“I just worry so much about you,” you climbed up into his arms and rested your head on his shoulder, “I’m sorry I’m trying to control this,” he whispered into your ear. That was all the confirmation you needed to know that it wasn’t just Thorin, it was in the genes, but Fili was aware of it and was working on it. 

You nodded, a few tears leaking now that you were unable to hide, “I know, I shouldn’t have run off but Bifur made the most beautiful toy, I just wanted to find him and thank him,” you explained.

You heard Bifur mumbling something in Kazdul and when you turned you saw both Bofur and Bombur comforting the other scruffy dwarf. 

“Bifur it’s okay,” you pulled away from Fili and went to console the other dwarf, “You haven’t done anything wrong okay?”

He nodded sadly, Thorin stood on gravely, you looked across at him and shook your head he needed to be reminded of his place and to control his sickness. 

“The sooner this little one is born the better,” Fili patted your belly.

“Yup nothing like trouble,” Kili grinned, “I wonder where they get that from.”

You rolled your eyes, if the child was anything like their father or their Uncle then they’d be a handful. 

The dwarves escorted you back to your room much to your distaste, “But I want to stay with you all, please!” You protested.

“You need to rest,” Fili said calmly.

“But I don’t want to just rest, it’s boring,” you whinged knowing you sounded a little childish but you didn’t care at this point. 

“Listen to your husband to be,” Thorin said calmly. 

You couldn’t help but scoff, “Can’t I sit with you all by a fire and listen to you sing or recount tales?”

“Absolutely not, you are in no condition to have such excitement,” Dori said as he patted your back.

You rolled your eyes, “Oh for the love of-“

“Y/N!” You looked up to see your father staring at you.

“Father,” you bowed your head, worried you were about to be in trouble once again. 

“If my daughter wishes to listen to your tales then I think you should oblige her,” you looked up startled for a moment.

“Sir?” Fili asked.

“She is quite capable of knowing how she feels, the nastiness is behind her and what good is sitting in bed all day, she’ll make herself ill that way. If she wants to stay up then she will stay up.”

He smiled at you and you nodded, “Yes, I want to hear more tales of the mountains, please Fili.”

“Very well.”

You spent the evening in such good company, chatting, drinking (non alcoholic of course! Dori had made you the most delicious elderflower preserve) and listening to the dwarves animated in their tales. Whilst they were stories you had heard before it mattered not, they captured your imagination. 

Watching Thorin sing had you all but swooning, “Your Uncle is handsome,” you said turning to Fili.

He shot you a worried glance but this softened to a smile, “Maybe not appropriate.” 

You knew he was right, “Sorry,” you nudged him gently, “I don’t mean to bring up something like that you know.”

“I know,” he stroked your hair, his hand found it’s way to the bead he had braided into your hair, he pulled it up to his lips and kissed it. Your heart fluttered and you looked up to him, his eyes gleamed in the light of the fire, such fondness displayed openly for you. Kili behind him still seemed enthralled in all their uncles tales no matter how many times he’d heard them, or the fact that he had been a part of them. 

“We’re going to be okay, aren’t we?” You whispered. 

He nodded, “How could we not?”

You wanted to say ‘I know,’ but then a lot of ‘I know’s’ had passed between the two of you to the point where it had become a running joke. You felt the words were no longer needed, all that was necessary was a look. Your life had changed dramatically when you met the dwarves, Gandalf had warned you that the adventure would change you as a person. He had told Bilbo the same thing and Bilbo too had added to the caution, though made sure you were aware that it was definitely for the better. But then there had never been any doubt in your mind, what a strange and wonderful little adventure to embark on in what was, afterall, a very large world. 

One week later, as predicted by Oin your contractions started and waters broke, luckily you were not far from home and with the assistance of the many dwarves they were able to get you back into the room that had been prepared for you quicky. 

You were sure you could hear your father’s footsteps outside the room, pacing backwards and forth. At one point you were convinced you’d heard him ask Thorin if he could come in and you had recoiled in horror, anyone but your father, you knew he cared but it would be more embarrassing than you could take. 

Fili was sat by your side the whole time, doing whatever needed doing from moping your brow in a fashion that you felt was almost pointless, to letting you squeeze his hand. He started to sing to you at one point and then was talking softly, stroking your hair. 

The pain had been unbearable, the nurses and Oin did their best to make you comfortable, but you’d always known dwarves children were bigger than those from the realm of man. This was why it was so rare for different species to fall in love and mate, it was tough. You felt a great warmth between your legs and heard splashing on the floor, Fili looked round and grew pale which told you all you needed to know, you were bleeding and it was far worse than it should have been.

This moment was one that had haunted your dreams and yet now it was happening the fear melted away, you trusted those who had your life in their hands.

You turned to Fili and stroked his cheek, “It’s okay, I’ll be okay, trust me I can do…” You had to stop talking to let out an almighty scream the moment you felt it was ready to start pushing. 

You thought of Thorin and his bravery, Bofur and his kindness, Bifur and his gentleness and generosity, the way Ori made you laugh, Dori mothered, Bombur cooked, Dwalin and his protective nature, Nori and his pranks to make you laugh, Oin, the one who was keeping you alive, Kili and his loyalty and most of all the love that Fili had for you. 

You thought of the child within you, still unsure if it was a boy or a girl, but it had a strong heartbeat so Oin had told you, you thought of how it needed to breathe, needed to be in the arms of it’s mother and father. You pushed with all your might and squeezed onto Fili’s hand.

“Come on my Queen,” Fili said with such passion it spurred you on.

“Yes, yes!” Oin shouted and looked up at you. “The head is nearly here.”

You don’t know how long you had been pushing for but finally you heard Oin call out that the head had made an appearance, you gave a sigh of relief yet there was no time to let up, straight away you were groaning, pushing with all your might. 

“Nearly there,” your best friend said with tears of joy in her eyes.

I can do this, I can, I can… you thought as you screwed up your face and concentrated on nothing but pushing. 

In total it took eight hours for your son to be born. There had been a great many things you had been proud of in your life but this was by far the most beautiful achievement of your life.

Oin handed your son to you slowly, he was wrapped in wool blankets, you took him into your arms, “Hello little man,” you grinned as you kissed his forehead.

“Look what you did,” Fili grinned, a tear falling onto his newborn. 

“No, look what we did,” you looked up at him, your lips begging for his to brush against yours. A family at last, prepared for anything in the future.

“I cannot wait to make you my Queen y/n,” Fili said as he kissed you again then kissed the brow of his boy. 

“Fili,” you started as you stared down at the child already sleeping, safe in your arms, “I think I would be happy to move to Erebor… I think with you and our son I will be quite at home there. As long as we can come back and visit once a year or-“ 

Fili interrupted you, “My love, we will come back as often as you like, nothing will ever stand in our way again.”

When years had passed you looked back on those early days as a family with fondness, now married, your son already learning from his Uncle Kili how to use a bow and carrying your second child you knew that everything you’d done, including those mistakes were what made you who you were. 

You couldn't have imagined a more perfect world for your child to grow up in to, of course it wasn’t without problems, but those issues were what would make your son the King he would grow in to. 

The first to see you after you gave birth wasn’t Thorin, but Bifur, he came shuffling into the room, a little nervous at first but your smile seemed to warm him. He reached deep into his pocket and pulled out a small wooden boy that he had carved. He handed it to you and went to leave.

“Bifur?” You asked as you studied the toy, “Do you want to hold him?”

Bifur turned, looked a little confused as you held out your sleeping babe to him. He approached slowly, with trepidation. 

“It’s okay, I trust you,” you handed across your child and you were sure you saw Bifur well up with tears in his eyes as he rocked the boy gently in his arms. 

The other dwarves all piled in then, your father behind them and you imagined this is how Bilbo must have felt when the dwarves turned up on his doorstep. But you couldn’t feel mad at them, it was too perfect for that, though your baby was now crying loudly. 

“You know, he knew it was going to be a boy….” Bofur grinned.

“Really?”

“Aye lassie, he’s known for a long time.” Bombur was stood next to his brother and nodded enthusiastically reassuring you that Bofur wasn’t just making it up. 

Kili sat the other side of you, holding one of your hands, his head rest on your shoulder. Fili was stood up desperately trying to get the babe to stop crying but was finding it near impossible. Ori and Nori had tried pulling selling faces above him and were making animal noises. Dori was convinced that what he needed was peace and quiet, but none of the suggestions of the other dwarves seemed to work. 

Just then Thorin entered the room there was a strange majestic grace to which you were unable to put any words to the feeling.

“Uncle,” Fili looked up, “May I introduce you to your great nephew.”

Thorin beamed and strode forward, “May I?”

Fili nodded and handed your child over to him, Thorin cooed and rocked the babe in his arms, “Shhhh little one, shhh, let me sing for you.”

“Far over, the misty mountains cold….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it, it's done at last! What did you think? As always thank you so much for reading, any feedback or constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. One day I may come back to this and edit it a little more and then expand on it but I'm happy I finally got an ending written.


End file.
